


Beautiful Things Come from Pain (Year by Year-Kayla Winchester Version)

by AGJ1990



Series: Kayla Winchester [10]
Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:47:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 21,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26187424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AGJ1990/pseuds/AGJ1990
Summary: Snippets from year to year in Kayla's life. Sort of a 'deleted scenes' kind of thing to my Kayla Winchester series.
Series: Kayla Winchester [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1432306
Comments: 5
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The characters of Supernatural do not belong to me. 
> 
> Please note-the rating of this story is extremely likely to change with time.

**Disclaimer: The characters of Supernatural do not belong to me. The original character of Kayla Winchester does.**

**A/N: So I seem to have hit a bit of writer’s block, so I decided tonight to try and create a story kind of like my two Year by Year stories, except this time with Kayla and not Evy. For anyone that may not have read my Kayla series, you can find them under my profile.**

**Since I wasn’t really planning to write this one, I can’t really say when it will be ‘finished’. I don’t even really know what that will look like at this moment. It will give me the opportunity to do some material I cut out of my big Kayla story, so think of this as a sort of ‘deleted scenes’ type of thing.**

_Six Weeks Old_

Sam had never heard so much screaming. Especially coming from such a little person.

Kayla had been awake for almost a full minute now. She’d been sniffly and grumpy all day, but generally either quiet or sleeping.

Jess, Sam hoped, had gone back to sleep. He insisted on taking care of Kayla during the night, since the majority of his days five days a week were spent at the office. Sam walked into Kayla’s room, which had been Jess’s when she was the same age. He flipped on the light and walked over to the cradle, where he found Kayla’s entire little body practically vibrating from the screams. Sam felt helpless as the panic rose up in him, but he swallowed it down to help Kayla.

“Hey, baby. You okay? What’s going on?”

When Sam reached a hand into the cradle, he got a clue as to the problem. Kayla was hot. Really hot. So hot she was sweating through her clothes. He didn’t know what made him do it, but he immediately took Kayla’s onesie off and left her in nothing but a diaper before picking her up. She seemed to calm a little, but she was still squirming and crying incessantly. Jess and Kayla’s grandmother, Leslie, who had been sleeping down the hall, came into the room to join the two of them.

“Sam? What’s going on? Is she okay?” Jess asked, worried. “Is she hungry?”

“I think she has a fever.” Sam said. “But I’m not sure if she really has one or she’s just hot.”

“Let me see.” Leslie said. She touched a hand to Kayla’s forehead and drew it back sharply. “She definitely has a fever. Bring her in the bathroom, Sam, and we’ll take her temperature.”

Leslie was not a woman easily rattled, but she checked Kayla’s temperature twice. It was 106. A few minutes later, all three adults were sitting in the pediatric emergency room, where they were immediately rushed into an exam room.

It was a terrifying night for Sam and Jess. Leslie was a little calmer, having dealt with sick kids before, and tried to keep to keep both the new parents from panicking. After the doctor examined Kayla, confirming Leslie’s suspicion that she had the flu, and admitted her for twenty-four hours of observation and medication to try and bring the fever down, Leslie got an idea to finally calm the still squirming and fussy Kayla.

“Sam? Do you trust me?”

“What?” The distracted Sam asked. “Of course I do.”

“I have an idea. Take your shirt off.”

Sam shrugged and handed Kayla off to Leslie. He pulled his tshirt off and handed it to Jess, then took Kayla back from Leslie.

“Hold her right here.” Leslie suggested, pointing towards Sam’s heart. “Lay down on the bed and hold her so she can hear your heartbeat.”

The second Kayla was against her father’s chest, she stopped squirming and stilled. Her eyes became heavy and she was fighting sleep. By the time Sam was lying on the bed, Kayla had fallen back asleep.

“I knew it.” Leslie said. “Sam, you might want to call out of work for a few days.”

“She calmed down so fast.” Sam said, amazed.

“Of course she did. She was scared but Daddy’s here. He’ll make it okay.” Leslie said, smiling. She lightly ran a finger over Kayla’s fine hair. Her temperature was going down. “Her fever’s starting to break.” 

“Mom?” Jess suggested. “Thanks for helping us tonight. We couldn’t have done it without you.”   
  


“That’s right.” Sam said, whispering so as to not wake the now sleeping Kayla. “Thanks, Mom.”

“You two are very welcome. Sam, if she gets sick again, this helps a lot. Okay?”

“Okay. I’ll remember that. Thanks, Mom.”

Sam truly loved Leslie. He had never had a mother of his own, at least one that he remembered, and Leslie filled the massive gap in his life in a way he’d never thought possible before. He’d heard horror stories of bad mother in laws, but Leslie seemed as close to perfect as could be. The small apartment Sam and Jess had been living in when Jess got pregnant with Kayla proved to be much too hazardous for a baby. So, when Jess’s father died, and Jess had ended up spending most days and nights with her mother anyway, the solution seemed to fall into place. The young couple moved in with Leslie until they found a suitable place to live, and Leslie expected nothing more from them some basic help with chores and groceries. _You two have given me something to live for again with Kayla. Taking care of you’s the least I can do._ Leslie helped with the baby just enough that she helped Sam and Jess feel equipped to do it themselves, but made it clear that they didn’t have to. Jess made her way to the bed and laid down on the other side of Sam and Kayla.

“Well, you two, I’m gonna head home, okay? I’ll come back in the morning and drive you guys home.” Leslie said.

“Okay, Mom. Goodnight. We love you.” Jess whispered.

“Goodnight, honey. Goodnight, Sam.” Leslie kissed her middle and pointer finger and blew a kiss towards Kayla. “Goodnight, little one. Grandma loves you.”

When Leslie was gone, Sam and Jess found themselves staring at Kayla and then at each other. Despite the situation, both of them were smiling.

“I think we did good, Mommy.” Sam whispered. “What do you think?”

“I think she’s just perfect.”


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So, there were two scenes I had in mind for this chapter. I couldn’t decided which one I liked best, so I just chose to do them both. I may do that for other chapters too. We’ll see. 

One Year Old

As happy as he was to see Kayla, John was frustrated. He’d been looking forward to spending time with Leslie that didn’t involve anyone else. But Sam and Jess had begged him to babysit, and they didn’t know yet that he’d been seeing Leslie. He didn’t know how to tell them he couldn’t babysit without telling them why. 

He’d planned to ask Bobby to babysit while he and Leslie had dinner, but at the last minute, Bobby had gotten called on a hunt. Sam and Jess had left an hour earlier, and the now almost year and a half year old Kayla was playing on the floor with toys. The doorbell rang, and John was about to call for Leslie to come in when Kayla took over. 

“Ding ding!” 

John smiled. “I guess we should get the door, huh?” 

“I go.” Kayla said, thrusting her arms in the air and flexing her hands. 

John sighed and picked Kayla up from the floor. “Might as well.” 

Kayla, intrigued by her mission to see who was at the door, sat on John’s hip and hung on to him nervously as he opened the door. But when she realized that the visitor at the door wasn’t a stranger, Kayla clapped her hands.

“Gramma!” 

Leslie, who had been expecting time alone with John and definitely not expecting for Kayla to be there, stopped cold when the door was opened. “Oh. Hi, Kayla bug. What are you doing here…?”

“The kids dropped her off. I couldn’t figure out how to tell them I had plans without them figuring out…”

“What it was we were doing.” Leslie said. She stepped inside and smiled at Kayla as she closed the door. “So do you want to still go to dinner?” 

“What do you think?” 

“I go.” Kayla said, repeating her new favorite phrase for her grandmother. “I go gramma and Grampa!” 

Leslie laughed. “I guess that settles that.” 

“You sure? We could just eat in…” 

“No. Kayla’s too little to tell her parents anything, and she’s pretty easy to keep distracted. How about some mac and cheese for dinner, kiddo?” 

“Yay!” Kayla clapped. 

“See? Easy.” Leslie said with a grin. “Besides, once she comes back, and has a full belly, a bath, a little snuggle with us for a minute…” 

“Then we get our alone time.” John said with a grin that he hadn’t felt since he was in his twenties and dating his wife Mary. “I see what you’re putting together there.” 

“But first,” Leslie said, pulling Kayla from John’s hip, “if you’re going with grandma and grandpa, little lady, you’re gonna need a bath.” 

“Baff. I dirty.” 

“You are very dirty. What is all over your face?” 

“Cookie!” 

“Who gave you cookies before dinner?” Leslie asked.

Rather than answer the question, Kayla immediately put a finger to her lips and made a hissing sound. Leslie looked over to John, confused for the briefest of moments, until she noticed that he wouldn’t look at her. 

“Not tell.” Kayla whispered loudly. 

“Sam and Jessica spoil her too much, huh?” Leslie asked. 

“Yep. It had to be them. No clue what she’s talking about. What cookies?” 

A Few Weeks Later

Kayla had decided, much to her mother’s frustration, that pants just weren’t for her. 

Jess had given up the battle, deciding that if they were at home, it was just easier to let Kayla run around and play in a shirt or a dress and a diaper. That was the case today. Jess and her mother were in the kitchen talking, and Kayla stood on the floor in the living room, moving her plastic train forwards and backwards and back again while gleefully cheering ‘choo choo!’ 

“Kayla, stop!” 

Kayla, frightened at her mother’s sudden shout, immediately fell backwards and poked out her bottom lip. She couldn’t figure out what she’d been doing wrong. Why was Mommy mad at her? She’d only been playing with her train. She hadn’t touched any of the stuff she wasn’t supposed to. A few tears filled her eyes and Mommy caught on to why she was upset. 

“You’re not in trouble, baby. Just stay still for me, okay?” 

Kayla then saw Leslie walking from the kitchen into the living room with one of Daddy’s big shoes in her hand. What was Grandma doing with Daddy’s shoe? It was way too big for her. Nobody could wear it but Daddy. Daddy came back inside from going out to check the mail and that’s when Kayla saw it. 

Right there in the middle of the living room rug was a big old nasty spider. Kayla looked back at her Mommy and now she knew why Mommy had shouted at her. It wasn’t because she was mad. She was scared. She thought the spider would hurt Kayla. 

But Mommy didn’t know something. Grandpa had shown her that bugs were nothing to be scared of. Some of them were nice and they wouldn’t hurt her, and he’d showed her pictures of those bugs. But, he’d told her, if you don’t know for sure whether or not a bug can hurt you, step on it so you know it won’t. If the bug’s too big for you to kill, find a grownup and let them know. 

Grownups, Kayla sometimes thought, were funny. They thought just because Kayla was a baby, she couldn’t learn big things like that. But, Kayla decided, she would show Mommy today how brave she was.

Kayla stood up and walked over to the spider real slow. She didn’t want to scare it off, like it scared the kitty cat that was outside sometimes if Kayla walked up to him too fast. But as soon as she got close enough, Kayla lifted her foot and brought it down on the spider as hard as she could. It felt gross and all mushy, but the spider was gone now. 

Then Kayla remembered something. Mommy had told her to stay still. Would Mommy be mad that Kayla hadn’t listened to her? But when she looked over at her daddy, Kayla saw he was laughing. Laughing really, really hard. Grandma had put the shoe down and was laughing too. Mommy walked towards her and picked her up and gave her a great big hug. 

“You’re such a brave girl!” 

Kayla wanted to take the hugs from Mommy. She really, really did. But she had a big problem. Pointing to her foot, she scrunched her face and said forcefully,

“Yucky, Mommy. Baff.”


	3. Chapter 3

_Two Years Old_

Kayla wouldn’t do it. No matter what, she wouldn’t do it. Daddy was bigger and stronger than her, and if he really wanted to, he _could_ make her, but no. She wouldn’t do it. She was a big girl, and no. Just no. She put her hands in front of her mouth and shook her head firmly.

“No.”

Sam, exasperated after a long day of work and uncooperative clients and other lawyers, couldn’t believe that a bigger battle was coming from the barely twenty-five pound and not even thirty-inch-tall Kayla.

“Kayla, you need to take it. Now open up.”

“No.”

Sam sighed again. He’d always thought he was a patient man. Apparently not.

“Kayla…”

“Sam.”

Jess came back inside, having been watching the battle of wills from the kitchen doorway. She’d had Kayla with her all day. She hadn’t forced her to take the cough medicine since the night before, thinking that if she stressed Kayla too much it would be just as hampering to her recovery as if she didn’t take the medicine to begin with.

“Jess, she needs to do this…”   
  


“I know. Just let me try.” Jess asked, taking the bottle from Sam. “Just give me a chance.”

Sam was skeptical, but knew better than to argue. In his mind, Jess had had all day to get Kayla to take her prescription from the doctor, and he was irritated that she hadn’t done it. One of the only arguments the two of them typically had was over Kayla. Sam thought Jess was too lenient, allowing Kayla just short of free reign to do what she wanted, and Jess thought Sam was too harsh, coming down too hard and pushing Kayla away from doing things on her own because she needed to, not because she was forced to.

It was, at times, an ugly argument. But when it came to things that were relatively harmless, like skipping a nap because she wasn’t cranky, Sam had learned to just let it go. It was hard for him at times, having not had any sort of normal schedule growing up and wanting to provide it so badly for his own daughter, but if things ran smoother because he just left it alone, Sam left it alone.

But on Kayla’s health, he wouldn’t compromise.

Kayla had woken up two nights earlier coughing in a way that truly scared him. It wasn’t a typical cough from a cold. Kayla couldn’t breathe. They’d called Jess’s mother, who Sam sometimes referred to as the ‘baby guru’, and she had called it spot on. Croup. As always, they’d followed her advice. Get in a hot shower with Kayla, let her breathe in the fumes until she fell asleep, and take her to the doctor the next day. Kayla had been relatively peaceful at the doctor, though Sam didn’t know if that was because she was actually trying to behave or if she was just exhausted.

The troubles had started that night.

Kayla had been asleep when it came time to give her the first dose of the prescription the doctor had given them, so they’d let her keep sleeping. The first dose had been given to her the night before, and it was, for both parents, an adventure. Kayla had taken it, but sworn up and down she’d never do it again. Sam would never forget the calls of _yucky!_ she’d made over and over.

It seemed, Sam was learning, that when Kayla swore she wouldn’t do something, she’d stick to her guns come hell, heaven, or high water.

“Kay, baby, talk to Mommy. What’s wrong?”

“No, Mommy. I no take it.”   
  


“Why not? Why don’t you want to take the medicine?”

“It yucky.” Kayla said, her hands still in front of her mouth. “Tase bad.”

“I know, honey. I know it does. I get it. But your cough won’t go away if you don’t take it. You won’t feel better. You want to feel better, don’t you?”

“No me’cine.” Kayla repeated. “No yucky.”

“How about if Mommy takes some too?”

At that, Kayla’s defenses came down. She moved her hands away from her mouth and stared at her mother curiously. “Mommy take too?”

“Would that make you feel better?” Jess asked. “If Mommy took it too?”

Kayla thought it over. She didn’t want Mommy to have to take that nasty stuff too, but if she was willing to do it to make sure Kayla got better, maybe Kayla should be brave and just do it. Tears filled her eyes as she thought about the night before. Daddy had given her the medicine and Kayla’s stomach felt like it had turned in on itself. She started crying as the overwhelming taste just wouldn’t go away, and she gobbled up the milk Daddy gave her and asked for more.

“Hey. Bug, look at me.” Kayla looked up at Jess, still contemplating the proposal. “I wouldn’t ask you to do something I won’t do myself. You understand?”

Kayla nodded. She did get it, but that still didn’t make it any easier.

“Daddy will pour you some milk right now. You can swallow the medicine and have the milk right after. I’ll still take some myself if you want. What do you say?”

Kayla finally nodded. “I do it, Mommy.”

“Okay. Good girl. You want me to do it, too?”

“I get piece candy, too?”

“You mean after you take your medicine?” Jess asked.

“Pease.” Kayla asked quietly.

“Yes. If you take your medicine, I will give you piece of candy afterwards. But only if you take it and don’t fight me or Daddy to do it.”

“I take it, Mommy.”

“Okay. Daddy, would you pour some milk, please?”

“Sure.”

Sam was a little jealous of Jess’s ability to calm Kayla so quickly, but right now he was just glad she did. He poured the milk into Kayla’s cup and handed it to her, then poured Kayla’s dose of medicine into the cup that came with it. When he realized what exactly Jess had offered to do, he smiled.

“Alright, Kay, just swallow it as fast as you can and it’ll be over soon…”

“Uh uh, Mommy. Did you forget?” Sam asked teasingly.

Jess glared. “Did I forget what, Daddy?”

“Kay, didn’t Mommy say she’d take it, too?”

“Yeah! She did!”

“It’s okay this once, Kayla. But Mommy can’t take it every time, okay? You have to take it to get better.” Sam said.

“I get the milk and the candy though?”

“If you take it without fighting us, yes. Deal?”

“Deal!”

“Okay. Here we go. You both go at the same time. Ready?”

Sixty seconds later, Kayla and Jess had both swallowed and both were gagging. Kayla shared her cup of milk with her mommy, and insisted that she eat a piece of candy too.

“It make taste better, Mommy.”

“Alright, you did good, baby. Come on, let’s start getting ready for dinner.”

“Kay’a big girl.” Kayla said proudly, clapping her hands.

“A very big girl.” Jess agreed.

“You did good, kiddo.”

“Hey, Kayla. Come here.” Jess said. She picked up Kayla and whispered into her ear. Whatever she whispered made Kayla giggle.

“What are you two planning over there?” Sam asked as he took out the ingredients for dinner.

“You want to tell him?” Jess asked.

“Yeah.” Kayla said. “Daddy no get ‘sert.”

“I don’t get dessert tonight? Why not?”

“You be mean to Mommy. Kay’a and Mommy get daddy ‘sert.”

“I guess that’s fair.” Sam said with a fake pout. “Come on. Help me make dinner.”

But Kayla had different plans. Jess took out two chocolate chip cookies from the pack in the cupboard and broke up the third, giving one piece to Kayla. Kayla promptly took her half piece and handed it to her father.   
  


“I share Daddy.”


	4. Chapter 4

_Three Years Old_

A loud bang drew Kayla out of her room and down the stairs. She knew she wasn’t supposed to run, but she had to go find Mommy. That big bang sounded like Mommy had fallen down the stairs.

“Mommy?”

“I’m in the kitchen, honey.”

Kayla went to the kitchen and found her mommy sitting in a chair, breathing funny. “Mommy? You okay? Did you falled?”

“I did, baby.”

“You hurt bad?”

“Give me a second, honey.” Jess said, wincing hard. The pain was shooting through her ankle but she was trying hard not to scare Kayla.

“Mommy, how I help you?” Kayla asked.

“You know where the stool is? The one we use to help you wash your hands?”

“In the bafroom?”

“Right. Go get it and bring it in the kitchen, okay? But be very careful. Don’t you fall too, okay?”

“I get it, Mommy.”

Kayla ran to the bathroom and pulled the stool out the door and dragged it down the stairs, very carefully just like her Mommy said. She brought it into the kitchen and waited for more instructions.

“Okay. Put it up against the fridge so you can reach the freezer.”

“You need ice?”

“There’s a bag of frozen vegetables in there. Give me that, okay?”

Jess would have preferred the ice, but she didn’t want to deal with explaining to Kayla how to make an ice bag. Kayla handed her the bag, and retrieved the bottle of Tylenol from the medicine cabinet, along with a water bottle from the fridge.

“Okay, honey. You’ve been a real good helper so far. But I need one more thing.”

“What you need, Mommy?”

“My phone. It’s in my purse.”

“I’ll get it.” Kayla dug the cell phone out of Jess’s purse and brought it over to her.

“Crap.” Jess said.

“What wrong?” Kayla asked.

“My phone’s not charged.”

_That’s it_ , Kayla decided. “I’m getting Gramma.”

“Kayla, no. You’re not allowed to go to Grandma’s by yourself.”

“Mommy, you’s hurt.” Kayla said forcefully. “Daddy not here and you phone’s not working. I going to get Gramma. I go to the corner later.”

Jess sighed. She did need help, and Kayla was right. There was no other way to get it. Even if she showed Kayla how to plug her phone in to charge it, the anxious little girl would never wait long enough without sneaking out to go get her grandmother anyway. Her mother was only four doors down the street, so Jess took a leap of faith.

“Just come here for a second. I’m not gonna make you go to the corner, just come here first.”

Kayla walked to her mother skeptically.

“Just promise me that you will stay on the sidewalk until you get to Grandma’s, and you will walk back with her.”

“Promise.”

“I mean it, Kayla. You step out into the street and I’ll know. You’ll be in big, big trouble.”

“I won’t, Mommy. Promise. But I gotta go now.”

“Okay. Go.”

It seemed the longest five minutes of Jess’s life. Her anxiety at not knowing precisely where Kayla hurt almost worse than her ankle did, which was definitely sprained if not broken. The frozen vegetables seemed to be simply providing a temporary fix. The second she lifted them off her ankle, the pain shot through her again. But, almost five minutes later to the dot, the front door opened and in walked Kayla, leading her grandmother into the kitchen by her hand.

“Jessica, what on earth is going on?”

“I told you, Gramma. Mommy falled down the steps and she hurted herself. She need help.”

“Let me see, Jessica.” Leslie lifted the vegetable pack off of Jess’s ankle and examined it. “You’re going to the hospital.”

“Mom, come on, it’s just a sprain.”

“Jessica, it’s turning black.”

“What about…?” Jess turned to look at Kayla, who was scared and looking back and forth between the two of them.

“We’ll leave her with Dot.”

“NO!” Kayla begged. “No, I go with Mommy too.”

“Kayla, no, you need to stay here so I can take care of Mommy, baby.”

“I took care of her before I came to get you!” Kayla argued. “Please don’t make me leave. I’ll be good, I swear.”

Leslie sighed and looked to Jess. “What do you think?”

“I think if you make her stay with Ms. Dot, she’ll just cry the entire time. Let her come.” Jess said. She turned her attention towards Kayla. “Kay, come here.”

Kayla walked cautiously towards her mother.

“You have to listen to Mommy and Grandma. The entire time. You act up, and you will be coming straight home and you will be in trouble. Do you understand?”

“I’ll be good, Mommy. Cross my heart.”

“Okay. Let’s go, then.”   
  


“Kayla, go hold the door open for me so I can help your Mommy to the car.” Leslie instructed. “When we get in the car and all buckled in, I’ll hand you my phone and you can call your Daddy to tell him what happened.”

“Got it!”

Four hours later, the family was coming home. Jess’ ankle was in a cast. Her ankle wasn’t broken like she’d thought, but it was sprained badly enough that she was ordered to stay off it for a minimum of eight weeks. Kayla had shocked everyone. She insisted, while talking to her father, that he go back to their house and retrieve Snuffle, her stuffed toy she slept with, so that Mommy could ‘not be scared’. She held her mother’s hand and assured her ‘it be okay, Mommy, we here wiff you’ while Jess was being put into a cast. She told Jess ‘you did good, Mommy, I pwoud of you’ when they were leaving, and insisted on Jess sitting in the back with her. Kayla usually hated the middle seat, but she took it and held Jess’s hand the entire ride home.

By the time they actually got to Leslie’s house, Kayla was fast asleep. Leslie kissed Jess’s cheek and walked inside her house, escorted by Sam, promising to be at Jess’s first thing in the morning. Sam drove them home, then looked to the backseat.

“Let me put her to bed, then I’ll help you inside.”

Kayla stirred in her car seat. “I help.”

Sam chuckled. “Okay, sweetie. I’ll help Mommy into the house and you can hold her hand.”

The process from the car to the living room was painfully slow, but Kayla encouraged her mother the entire way. Sam shut the front door behind him, preparing to help Jess up the stairs and to their bedroom, when Kayla startled him by letting out a strangled cry.

“No, Mommy! Don’t go up there!”

Sam turned to find Kayla standing in front of Jess, who had one foot on the bottom of the steps. She looked just as puzzled as Sam was. Both of them were tired and ready for bed, but both knew that forcing Kayla up to bed would lead to nothing more than tears and a longer night for all of them.

“Kay, come to the couch with me and Mommy. Let’s talk about this.”

Kayla climbed up onto the couch between Sam and Jess, grabbing Jess’s hand and squeezing it tightly.

“Hey, Bug. What’s wrong, huh? Talk to me? Why don’t you want me to go up to bed?”

“Don’t want you to get hurt again, Mommy.” Kayla said.

“Did that scare you today?”

Kayla nodded.

“Well, it scared Mommy too. But you know what?”

“What?”

“You took such good care of me that I wasn’t scared anymore.”  
  


“I did?”

“You did. I know that was scary, baby. But Daddy’s gonna help me upstairs. I won’t be by myself this time.”

“You won’t go up there by yourself, will you? You’ll have me or Daddy or Gramma with you?”

“Now that sounds like an excellent idea.” Sam agreed.

Jess glared a little at Sam, but turned back to Kayla. “I promise, honey. I won’t go upstairs by myself. And Grandma will be here to help during the day while Daddy’s at work.”

“I help you too.” Kayla said.

“Yes, you will. Now everyone’s tired. Can we go to bed now?”

“Can I sleep wif you and Daddy?”

“I think that’s a good idea too.” Sam said. “Come on, nurse Kayla. You go up to the top of the stairs and watch so we don’t fall.”

“Deal!”


	5. Chapter 5

_Four Years Old_

Kayla was scared.

Her tummy was in knots and she felt like she might throw up. Daddy was gonna be so mad at her. He’d told her not to go in his office, and today she’d done exactly that. She’d only done it to put a surprise on his desk, but she knew she still wasn’t supposed to be in there. Not only had she gone into Daddy’s office, she’d spilled the cup of coffee he’d had in there this morning onto some papers on his desk.

Kayla hadn’t told Mommy what she did, just that she wanted to wait for Daddy to get back from work out on the porch. Mommy was inside making dinner, and Kayla just hoped she would be able to eat it without her butt hurting.

Daddy’s car pulled up, and Kayla’s tummy twisted again. The time was now, and whatever Daddy decided to do, it was gonna happen sooner rather than later. Daddy got out, smiled at Kayla, and picked up his case he took to work every day.

Sam knew something was wrong the second he pulled up. Kayla sometimes sat on the porch and waited for him to come home, but when she did, she jumped up and down until he stopped his car then ran out to meet him. Today she sat looking down at the ground as if she’d lost her best friend.

“Hey, Bug.”

“Hey, Daddy.” Kayla said quietly.

“You okay? You look sad.”

Kayla took a shaky breath and looked up at Sam. “I gotta tell you something, Daddy. Will you sit down with me, please?”

Surprised by Kayla’s seriousness, Sam put his briefcase down and took the seat next to her. “Sure, sweetie.”

“I did something bad today. Something you told me not to.”

“Okay. You’re scaring me, kiddo. What happened?”

“I went in your office.”

Sam’s lips formed a thin line. “Did something happen?”

Kayla nodded.

“Did you break something?”

“No, sir. I spilled that coffee cup on your desk.”

“Show me.” Sam said, patting her leg to make Kayla stand up. “Come on. Show me.”

Kayla led Sam to his office, refusing to look at him the entire way. She pointed at his desk and waited for him to start getting mad. She had tears in her eyes already when Sam took a seat in his desk chair.

“Come here, Kayla.”

Kayla couldn’t help it. She was just too scared, and she started crying the second Sam told her to come to him. “I’m sorry, Daddy…”

“Shh. Kay, just come here. We need to talk.”

Kayla very reluctantly walked over to Sam and didn’t fight when he picked her up and put her in his lap. She started to cry harder, but stopped when Sam didn’t start swatting like she expected. Instead, much to Kayla’s bewilderment, Sam gave her a hug.

“Calm down, Bug. It’s okay.”

“You not mad at me?”

“I have two very important questions. And I expect you to tell me the truth, okay?”

“What is it?” Kayla asked nervously.

“Did Mommy tell you to tell me about this?”

“No. Mommy doesn’t know.”

“Mommy doesn’t know anything about this? You told me completely on your own?” Sam clarified.

“Yes, sir.” Kayla answered. “I spilled the cup and asked Mommy if I could wait for you outside.”

“And is this why you were in here?” Sam asked, pulling the piece of paper with a drawing he’d never seen before out to Kayla so she could see it.

Kayla nodded. “I was gonna leave it so you could find it when you got home.”

“I see.” Sam said. He sighed and put the picture on the desk. “Were you crying because you were scared I was going to spank you?”

At the dreaded ‘s’ word, Kayla teared up again and squeaked. “Yes.”

“Well, you can stop with all the waterworks. I’m not going to.”

A startled Kayla stared at her father in complete and utter disbelief. She’d broken a rule, and she was getting away with it?

“You’re not?”

Sam fought a laugh when he noticed the look on Kayla’s face, and all he could do was nod.

“How come?”

“Because you came and told me the truth, even though you knew I might spank you for it. That was very brave of you, baby, and I’m proud of you.”

“I’m not in trouble at all?” Kayla asked. It seemed way too good to be true. “I don’t got to go to bed early or nothing.”

“Not this time. Besides, it was partially my fault for leaving the coffee in here and not taking it ot the kitchen. _But,_ and I need you to listen real close here. I told you to stay out of here for a reason. If you had spilled that coffee on my computer and not just on my legal pad, it would’ve cost a lot of money to fix. Do you understand?”

“I understand. I’m really sorry, Daddy.”

Sam finally smiled, setting Kayla at ease. “I know you are. And thank you for the picture. It’s beautiful.”

“Mommy helped me make it. And she helped me write the letters too!”

Sam took another look at the picture. In it was a stick figure Kayla standing next to a much larger stick figure Sam. The top of the picture proclaimed ‘Daddy loves Kayla’ and the bottom ‘Kayla loves Daddy’. He was startled out of looking at the picture by Kayla wrapping her arms around his chest.

“I love you, Daddy.”

Sam kissed the top of her head and rubbed Kayla’s back. “I love you too, Bug. I’ll keep it forever.”

He wished the moment could be stopped, frozen forever so that Sam could hold onto it. But he spotted something on his bookshelf that gave him an idea. He picked Kayla up and tickled her a little, making her giggle, and grabbed the small basket with a suction cup on it that he used for miscellaneous items until he found a place for them.

“What you doing, Daddy?”

“You’ll see.”

Sam fixed the basket to the wall just outside of his office. He set it only two and a half feet off the ground, so that it was easily within Kayla’s reach. He went back inside his office, grabbed a stick note, and wrote in block letters DADDY’S MAIL before sticking the note to the basket.

“That right there, Bug, is your mailbox for me.”

“That’s just for me?”

“Yep. If I’m at work and you have something you want to give me, just put it in there. I’ll look at it when I get home. That way, you can surprise me, and you can stay out of here like you’re supposed to.”

“Cool!” Kayla said. “Look, Mommy! I got my own mailbox!”

Sam hadn’t seen Jess standing on the other side of his office door. “How long have you been there?”

“Long enough.” Jess said with a smile. “I see that, baby. That’s super cool. Now go wash your hands. Dinner’s ready!”

“Okay!”

Kayla ran to the bathroom, and when Jess heard the water running, she walked to Sam and kissed him. “You did good.”

“I did?”

“Yeah. Very good.”   
  


“You really didn’t know she did that?”

“I only figured it out after she asked me if she could wait on you.” Jess said. “I just didn’t tell her I knew.”

“She’s growing up so fast.” Sam said somewhat sadly. “I wish we could keep her frozen like this.”

“Come on, come on, come on! I’m hungry!” Kayla called, racing past her parents and into the dining room.

Jess laughed. “You sure about that?”


	6. Chapter 6

_Five Years Old_

John froze in absolute certainty that Kayla was about to start screaming.

They were in the middle of town, attending the fourth of July celebration. The celebration was supposed to be for the whole family, but it was geared more towards children. There were games and food and other things for the kids to do, while the adults were mostly relegated to making sure the kids stayed under control.   
  


Kayla had been having a blast all day. Her parents and grandmother had come down with her, but Kayla was sticking to John like glue. It was something that, even more than four years after Kayla had come into his life, he still wasn’t used to. After Sam’s departure for Stanford, John had gotten so used to their strained relationship that it had clouded his memory of the happy parts of their family life. Bouncing Sam up and down to make him laugh, reading to him, Sam running up to him after a long hunt and telling his father how happy he was to him. John wasn’t sure that he knew how to do all that again.

Whatever his doubts, he seemed to be doing a good job. He worried about being too strict with Kayla, that she’d not want to stay with Grandpa if he was too rough with her. But Kayla held his hand when they were crossing the street, stayed where he could see her, asked him for things politely, and even apologized before John could say anything when she forgot to grab his hand before crossing the street to meet up with her parents. Things were going great.

Now, he was sure, all that was about to fall apart. Kayla had been walking along, munching on a banana, with John walking just slightly ahead of her. John had had what Bobby referred to as an ‘idjit’ moment. He stepped to the side to avoid a street lamp, and forgotten that Kayla was behind him. Only when he heard a loud _clang_ did he realize what had happened. Kayla was standing there, rubbing her nose and tweaking it like a bunny.

She had run into the lamp.

John steeled himself for the screaming, and was shocked when Kayla only had one thing to say. She looked at him with her big brown eyes, no sign of tears in them, and asked,

“Gampa, that hurted. Can I has a popsicle?”

John, relieved, started to laugh. “You bet you can, little one. Let me take a look at your nose first. Does it hurt bad?”

Five minutes later, Kayla was eating an orange popsicle and had forgotten all about her accident. She was catching John up on the intricacies of her kindergarten class and completely lost in thought. When her popsicle was down to a stick, John threw it away for her and noticed her eyes starting to get heavy.

“You sleepy, baby?”

“’m not seepy.” Kayla insisted, though her arms were in the air telling her grandpa _pick me up._

John obliged, and less than a block later, Kayla was snoring on his shoulder. “Sleep tight, little one. Grandpa loves you so much.”

Apparently, Kayla wasn’t entirely asleep yet. “’ou too.”


	7. Chapter 7

_Six Years Old_

“Stay here, Kayla. I’ll go get the teacher.”

Kayla barely heard her friend over the sound of her own crying. She’d been running on the playground, trying to get away from the person who was ‘it’ in a game of tag, when she’d tripped and fallen on the sidewalk. She had scraped up her face, her elbow, and her knees. She hated crying. It made her feel like a baby.

But that fall had really, really hurt.

Kayla’s friend Amelia had run to go get the teacher when Kayla fell. The other two girls she’d been playing tag with, Sophie and Ava, were both trying to hug her and make her feel better before the teacher got there. They were so worried about Kayla that they didn’t see the class bully Tyler come around the corner.

“You’re such a baby crying like that, Kayla!”

Ava kept her arm around Kayla, and Sophie, who was slightly braver than Ava, stood up and in front of her hurt friend to protect her.

“Go away, Tyler! Leave her alone!”

“You keep crying like that, you’ll shrivel up and turn into a skeleton!”

Tyler didn’t have much of a chance to say anything else to Kayla before he was shooed away by the teacher. Ms. Ray asked Ava and Sophie to help Kayla to the nurse’s office, and Kayla was patched up there. But since she wouldn’t stop crying, the nurse, a nice older lady named nurse Mimi, called Jess to pick her up.

Jess was worried. Kayla didn’t typically cry when she got hurt. True, she’d done a whopper of an injury today, somehow managing to scrape up her face, her knees, and her elbow. But she had been fixed up, bandaged, and cleaned up, so why was she still upset?

Kayla insisted that she had to wait for Sam. Her insistence that she had to talk to Daddy about ‘something real serious’ made Jess slightly jealous, but she allowed Kayla to play outside in the yard until Sam came home. A few hours later, as Jess was almost done with dinner, she heard Kayla’s excited squeal.

“Daddy!”

“Hey, Bug.” Sam said, and Jess then heard an _oof!_ as Kayla ran to her father and got him to pick her up. Sam walked towards the house and Jess heard him asking, “What happened to you? Why are you all bandaged up?”

“I got hurt at school. I fell down on the playground.”

“You okay?” Sam asked. “You look like you took one big tumble. Hey, baby.”

“Hey.” Jess said, kissing Sam. “She’s fine. But she has a question for you that she refuses to ask me.”

“What is it, baby?”

“Daddy, will you sit down with me? I have to talk to you about something real serious.”

Sam looked quizzically at Jess, who just shook her head and shrugged. His curiosity piqued, Sam walked to the living room and took a seat on the couch, pulling Kayla up to sitting in his lap. Jess turned the burner off on the stove and joined them. She’d wondered all afternoon what Kayla’s big question was, and now they were about to find out.

“What’s going on, sweetie? Talk to us.” Sam encouraged.

“Well, when I fell, Tyler started teasing me.”

“Tyler? I’ve heard you talk about him. He’s the class bully, right?”

  
“Right.” Kayla said. “Anyways, he started teasing me ‘cause I was crying so much.”

“What’d he say?”

“He said that I was crying so much I was gonna shrivel up and turn into a skeleton.” Kayla said. “Daddy, is that true? If I cry too much I’ll turn into a skeleton?”

A stunned Sam’s mouth went up and down, and Jess’s was doing the same. Kayla waited patiently for an answer, and Sam felt bad he couldn’t give her one right away. He was honestly worried he’d laugh and hurt her feelings. So when Sam had his emotions under control, he cleared his throat and started to answer Kayla’s question.

But he failed. The second Sam opened his mouth, he let out a laugh. And Kayla’s face soured.

“You’re laughing at me! That’s not nice, Daddy.”

“No, honey, no. I’m not laughing at you.” Sam said honestly. “I’m laughing at Tyler.”

“Oh.” Kayla said quietly.

“It’s not true, Bug.” Sam said, still letting out an amused laugh after every other word. He stroked Kayla’s hair and assured her, “It’s okay to cry if you’re hurt.”

“It is?”

“It is.” Sam said.

Kayla nodded. Daddy said so, so it must be true. “Okay.”

“Okay. Feel better?”

“I feel better.”

“Good.” Sam said. “Need a hug?”

“Yes, please.”

After sharing a hug with Sam and Jess, Jess sent Kayla to the bathroom to wash her hands for dinner. When she was out of earshot, Sam turned to Jess and whispered loudly,

“Why didn’t you warn me?”

“I swear I didn’t know. She wouldn’t tell me anything.”

“What the hell?” Sam exclaimed. “Turn into a skeleton?”

“You did good making her feel better.”

“What I want to do is get my hands on that little shi…”

“Mommy! I’m ready, my hands are clean!”

“Coming!” Jess called. “Let’s go have dinner, Dad. You can plot the destruction of a six-year-old after we put her to bed.”


	8. Chapter 8

_Seven Years Old_

“But Daddy, you promised!”

“I know I did, Kay. And I’m sorry. We _will_ go. But I have to work tonight.”

“This stinks.” Kayla said, flopping down on the couch and angrily crossing her arms over her chest.

Sam smiled. He sat down next to Kayla, who stared at her feet like they’d offended her personally, and lifted her chin up to look at him.

“Hey. I really am sorry. I was looking forward to tonight too. If there was any way to get out of this, I would. I swear.”

Kayla nodded. She really did get it. But that didn’t make it any easier to swallow. Sam was working a big case at his law firm, and it had taken up a lot more of his time than normal. He’d been gone when Kayla got up in the morning and returned most nights after she went to bed. He’d promised to take her camping this weekend, but was being called back to work. Again.

“I know.” Kayla said sadly.

“What’s the rule when a promise is broken?” Sam asked.

Kayla smiled. “You have to make it up twice.”

“Exactly. So not only are we going camping, but you get to pick something else that we do together.”

“Like what?”

“Why don’t you think about it before I get back and we can talk about it tomorrow?”

“Why don’t we talk about it when you come back tonight?”

Sam sighed. “You know your Mom doesn’t like me waking you up in the middle of the night.”

“But it’s not a school day tomorrow. Please, Daddy?”   
  
“Okay. I’ll wake you up when I get home.”

“I’ve got a book to read for school. Will you read it with me?”

“One chapter. You’re not staying up all night. Okay?” Sam said.

Kayla finally smiled. “Okay.”

“Is this your other thing you wanted?” Sam asked.

“Yeah.”

Sam nodded. “Two chapters.”

“Who’s my babysitter? Mommy’s at Grandma’s tonight.”

Sam smiled. Jess had left two hours earlier to go to her mother’s, concerned she sounded ‘like she felt miserable’. Sure enough, when she arrived, she called Sam to say her mother was vomiting and running a temperature. She’d caught John’s recent stomach flu from going to see him, and was trying to keep them from worrying over her. She didn’t want to give it to Kayla if she could help it, so…Sam had stopped her, telling her to stay with her mother until Leslie was better. He’d arrange for a babysitter if he got called into work, and if he absolutely couldn’t, he’d take Kayla to the office with him. Just after hanging up with Kayla, he’d made a phone call. It was a long shot, but it worked.

“Well, since I couldn’t go camping with you, I got you a consolation prize.”

“What’s that mean?”

The doorbell rang, and Sam pointed to it. “Go answer the door and find out.”

Kayla jumped down from the couch and headed to the door, and Sam laughed when he heard her delighted squeal. “Uncle Deanie!”

“What’s up, my little urchin?”

“Cool! This is gonna be fun!”

“I’m glad you’re happy, Bug.” Sam said. “But I gotta go. Give me a hug.”

Kayla hugged Sam quickly around his side. “Bye, Daddy.”

“Bye, Bug. Don’t stay up too late, okay? And behave tonight.”

“I will.”

“I know you will. I was talking to your uncle.” Sam winked.

Dean, who had gone into the kitchen to put his jacket on the chair where he usually kept it, called, “I heard that!”

“You were meant to!” Sam called. “Seriously, though, thanks a lot for doing this at the last minute, Dean.”   
  


“Well, it was this or eating beef jerky in the Impala on the way back to Dad’s.”

“Well, I don’t know about beef jerky, but I did leave a little cash on the table for pizza…”

“Cool! Can I go call?”

Without waiting for an answer, Kayla grabbed the phone off the wall and went into the kitchen. Sam thanked Dean again and was out the door.

Two hours later, the lights in the living room were out, a movie was playing that Kayla had seen a thousand times, and Dean and Kayla both had full bellies. Kayla was leaning into Dean’s side, her eyes opening and closing in a fight against sleep. The phone ringing made Kayla jump, and Dean chuckled as he answered.

“Hello?...Hey, Jess…She’s half up and half asleep…Sure, one second….Hey, Bug. Your mom.”

Kayla took the phone and yawned. “Hi, Mommy…We watched a movie and had pizza for dinner…Can I stay up just a little more? Please?...Thank you, Mommy…How’s Grandma…Okay, love you too…Bye, Mommy.”

Dean took the phone from Kayla and asked, “Let me guess. Mommy says bedtime?”

“She said I can stay up awake as long as I want.”

“Really?”

“Long as I did it in my bed.”

Dean laughed. “Okay. Come on, I’ll tuck you in.”

“Uncle Deanie? How come you never had kids?”

“Where did that come from?”

Kayla shrugged. “I don’t know. I just wondered. I think you’d make a good dad.”

“Well, thanks, kid. But to answer your question, I don’t really know why I never had kids.”

“Do you think you will?”

“I don’t know, kiddo. Maybe.” Dean said. “Enough stalling. Pajamas. Teeth. Bed.”

“Okay. Will you tell me a story?”

“What kind of story?”

“One about Daddy when he was my age.”

Dean chuckled. “Those I have plenty of. And if you can get your PJs on and teeth brushed and you’re in bed in ten minutes, I’ll tell you two.”

“Deal!”

Hours later, after being suckered into four stories by Kayla, Dean was snoring on the couch. Jess had texted him and insisted he take her and Sam’s bed, but Dean just wasn’t used to it. He was so accustomed to sleeping in the Impala or a couch or a hotel bed or his own bed at Bobby’s that any other bed just didn’t feel right to him.

Dean had fallen asleep holding a picture of him and Sam. He’d thought over Kayla’s question after she fell asleep. He was surprised to find that he’d told Kayla the truth. He really didn’t know why he’d never had kids. He’d raised Sam, and he had fallen asleep telling himself that he hadn’t had kids simply because he was happy with how Sam had turned out.

That was what he told himself. And maybe if he repeated it to himself enough, he’d start to believe it.

“Uncle Deanie. Wake up.”

Dean jumped. He hated being woken up, and when he was in an unfamiliar place, his first instinct was to reach for his gun. But he’d also learned to take a breath if he woke up and he wasn’t on a hunt. He was still at Sam’s, and it was Kayla that had woken him up. He quickly checked his watch, and found he’d only been asleep for a half hour. He sat up and turned on the table lamp Sam and Jess kept next to the couch and found Kayla crying.

“Hey, Bug. What’s wrong? You okay?”

“I had a bad dream.” Kayla said shakily. She had a finger in her mouth, something she’d done all the time as a baby but was now saved for moments when she was so upset she couldn’t handle it.

“Oh, Bug, it’s okay. Come here.”

Kayla didn’t need any more urging, climbing on the couch and wrapping both arms around Dean’s middle. Dean could feel her shaking, and he pulled her into his lap.

“That must have been some dream. You want to tell me what happened?”

“No. Just hold me, please. I’m scared.”

“I got you, Bug. It’s okay.”

“Is Daddy home yet?” Kayla asked.

“No. He’s not. You want me to call him?”

“No. It’s okay.” Kayla said.

“You just want to stay here until he gets home?”

“Yes, please.” Kayla said with a yawn. “Will you tell me another story? A funny one?”

“You got it, kiddo.”

Just as Kayla had fallen asleep, the front door opened and Sam walked in. He was surprised to find Kayla sleeping on the couch with Dean. Dean had his arms around Kayla, so walking up and pulling Kayla away from him, Sam knew from experience, wasn’t the best idea.

“Dean.”

Dean stirred and saw Sam there. “Hey. What time is it?”

“Half past twelve. What were you two up to?”

“Bad dream.” Dean said.

“Her or you?” Sam asked.

“Very funny.”

_I actually wasn’t joking,_ Sam thought, but turned to take off his jacket. “Let me get my jacket off and I’ll put her to bed.”

“I got her.” Dean yawned.

“No. Wait. I promised her I’d wake her up when I got home. I don’t, and I won’t stop hearing about it for the next month.”

Sam placed his jacket on his recliner, too tired to do anything but go to bed right then. But he’d made a promise to Kayla, and he needed to keep it. He bent down and touched a hand to Kayla’s cheek.

“Hey, Bug. Wake up. Daddy’s home.”

Kayla stirred. “Daddy?”

“Hey.”

“I had a bad dream.” Kayla said, sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

“Yeah. Uncle Dean told me. You want to talk about it?”

“No.”   
  


“You ready to read?”

Kayla frowned. “Can we read tomorrow? I’m really sleepy.”

“We sure can. And since tomorrow’s not a school night, either, we can camp tomorrow if you want.”

“You don’t have to work?”

Sam chuckled. “Nope. My boss decided we’d all been working too much on this case so he gave us the whole day off.”

Kayla smiled. “Okay.”

Sam smiled back. “Okay. Let’s get you back in bed.”

“Can I…?” Kayla started to ask something, forgetting that Dean was there. She turned and looked at her uncle, then pulled Sam closer to her so she could whisper in his ear. “Can I sleep with you? I’m scared I’ll have a bad dream again.”

Sam bit back a laugh. Kayla had never mastered the art of whispering, and Dean had heard every word she said. She had gotten the idea lately that if anyone other than her parents knew that Kayla still sometimes slept with her Mommy and Daddy when she had a bad dream, they’d think less of her. Sam winked and Dean nodded, and they both understood the silent conversation that had just happened. Dean didn’t hear what Kayla had just said, and Sam let Kayla think that the dignity she thought she would lose was still intact.

“I need to get a shower. Go get your nightlight from your room and plug it in. Okay?”

“Okay, Daddy.”

“I’m gonna head back to Dad’s…” Dean said.

“Dude, come on.” Sam protested. “Just crash here.”

“Yeah, uncle Deanie. Stay here.” Kayla begged. “And come camping with us tomorrow.”

“Camping?” Dean asked. The prospect was not very appealing.

“Just in the backyard, Dean.” Sam said.

Kayla knew _exactly_ how to get her uncle to do what she wanted. She had heard Sam joke once that it was Dean’s kryptonite, and ever since, she’d done it on her uncle every chance she had. Kayla folded her arms like she was praying and begged,

“Plllleeeeeaaaseee…”

“Ugh, fine. Just get out of here with that.”

Kayla smiled and kissed Dean’s cheek. “Love you.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love you too.”

“Go on to bed, Kay.”

Kayla ran to her bedroom, and Sam sighed tiredly. “Look, I know you’re not crazy about camping. You don’t have to sleep out there with us if you don’t want. Just tell some ghost stories…”

Dean chuckled. “That shouldn’t be too hard.”

“That won’t scare the pants off of her, eat some junk food, maybe help her look for bugs to catch, then she’s out like a light and you can come back and sleep in the house if you want.”

Dean shrugged. “Sure. Sounds fun.”

“Cool. Thanks, dude. Jess called me before she went to bed. Leslie’s better and she’s insisting we all come over for lunch tomorrow. I’ll do Kayla’s reading assignment with her, then we’ll go over.”

“Uncle Deanie?”

Dean looked over at the end of the couch, where Kayla was waiting. “Yeah, kiddo?”

“Will you make breakfast tomorrow?”

“You don’t want me to make breakfast?” Sam asked, pretending to be offended.

“I want uncle Deanie to do it. He makes the best waffles. You do pancakes the best.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

“Sure, kiddo. But nothing before nine in the morning, okay?”

“Deal.”

“Deal. Now go to bed.”

Before going, and as Sam headed to the bathroom to take his shower, Kayla gave Dean one more hug. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Dean suddenly remembered why it never truly bothered him that he hadn’t had his own kids. This was enough for him right here. “I’m glad I’m here too, kid.”


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So, this chapter isn’t really as cute as the last few chapters, but I like the way it turned out. For those of you reading this who may have not read my original Kayla story, The Things Unseen (Make The Soul Ache)-The In-Between, I’m about to give a big spoiler. So turn around and back out if you want. If you do want to stick around, here it goes.**

**Jess has just given birth to Kayla’s little sister Mary. She hemorrhages just after the birth, badly enough that she lands in a coma. Kayla runs away from Sam when he tells her that because Jess is in the ICU, and they don’t allow child visitors, she can’t go see her mother, but she can come see her sister. Kayla goes along with the plan, slipping away from Sam and running to her mother’s room.**

**This scene takes place between Sam telling Kayla that she can’t see her mom and actually getting to the hospital. Kayla asks to get a present to take to her mother, and Sam agrees, taking her to the Kmart across the street from the hospital. Dean meets up with them there, and he and Kayla go search for the gift while Sam goes back to the hospital to check on Jess. While they’re in the store, Kayla runs into a lady who isn’t very kind to her and makes her cry.**

**Unfortunately, since I work in retail, I see a lot of the types of people that the lady in this story is. I’d just like to say something, something that I’ve seen and heard Misha Collins say many, many times. Be kind. Just be kind every single chance you can. Just like the lady in this story didn’t know what Kayla was going through and inadvertently made her day worse, you never know what others are going through either. Just be kind please. It costs nothing and can reap rewards you can’t imagine.**

**Hope everyone’s doing well! As always, stay safe and stay healthy!**

_Eight Years Old_

“Daddy? Can we stop and get something for Mommy before we go to the hospital?”

“Like what?”

“Flowers?”

  
Sam smiled sadly. “Sure, Bug.”

They were stopped at a red light, and Sam took a glance in the back seat. John and Dean were following behind him in the Impala, and Kayla was staring out the window from her booster seat. The thought crossed his mind again that by this time next week, he could be a single parent. The light turned to green, and Sam continued on, trying to push that painful thought away.

As he approached the hospital, Sam got an idea. Across the street from the hospital was a Kmart, one that sold not only flowers, but some candy that Jess loved. Getting it would give Kayla some hope that Mommy would get better. Maybe it was cruel to give her that hope when Jess’s health was continuing to decline, but he had to do something. Sam pulled into the hospital, in the same parking place he’d parked in the night before, and started to pull out his wallet. Dean parked the Impala next to Sam and started to get out.  
  
“Daddy? What are you doing?” 

“You’ll see. Come on, get out and go over with uncle Dean.”

Kayla listened, going over to her uncle. Sam made up his mind and got out, meeting Kayla, his father, and John at the edge of the Impala.

“Dean, would you mind taking Kayla across the street for a little while?”

“Sure. Why?”

Sam put the cash he’d pulled out of his wallet into Kayla’s hand. “You know that candy that your Mommy likes so much? That she doesn’t share with anyone?”

“The chocolate in the black bag?”

“Right. Get Mommy that, and some flowers, and I want you to use the rest of the money to get a present for your sister.”

Kayla’s face soured, but she took the money and stuffed it in her pocket.

“Kayla? I mean it. I want you to find something for your sister. Understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

Sam frowned. Kayla was determined not to have anything to do with her newborn sister. She was convinced that Mary had caused her mother’s current condition, and she wouldn’t be nice to her sister until her mother came home. But Sam hoped that being forced to do something nice for her sister might start to crack Kayla’s façade.

“Okay. Thanks, Dean. Just call me whenever you’re ready to come back, okay?”

Dean escorted Kayla across the street, and tickled her a little before walking inside. Dean grabbed a cart and they headed straight for the flowers. Kayla picked out a half dozen of them for her mother before she and Dean headed to the candy. They found the bag of candy that Jess liked, and Kayla grabbed a bag of the same brand but a different flavor. Dean suggested they head to the baby section next.

“I need to go to the bathroom first.” Kayla said.

Dean took her, waiting outside as Kayla went. The baby aisle was directly next to the bathroom, so Dean agreed to let Kayla walk over and pick out a present while he went to the bathroom himself. Giving her strict instructions to keep both hands on the cart until he came out, Dean went into the bathroom and Kayla went to select a present. She’d been looking for only a few seconds when she heard it.

“Such a shame.”   
  


Kayla turned and found the source of the voice. Behind her was an elderly woman that Kayla had never seen before. The woman was glaring at Kayla, making her squirm. Kayla wanted to leave, but she’d promised uncle Dean she wouldn’t go anywhere. She looked back to the bathroom, but Dean wasn’t on his way back yet. Deciding to take the safe route, Kayla turned back to the baby aisle and tried to keep picking a present for Mary. The old lady huffed loudly.

“How rude.”

Kayla took a deep breath, trying hard to keep her temper. She turned back to the woman and glared right back at her.

“I’m not bothering you, can you please leave me alone?”

“Young lady, where are your parents?”

Kayla felt her heart hurt a little more at the mention of her parents, but she clamped down on it and asked, “My parents? Why?”

“Because I want to know who allowed you to color your hair in such a disgusting way.”

“My hair?” Kayla asked. She was truly puzzled now. “What’s wrong with my hair?”

Then Kayla remembered. At school that morning, after being dropped off by Dean and before she was picked up by her grandfather, one of her friends named Tracy had noticed that Kayla was upset. Tracy had asked Kayla what was wrong, and in an attempt to cheer Kayla up, she had taken something out of her backpack. It was a toy Kayla had used before. Hair chalk. The way it worked was simple. Take a piece of your hair, put the chalk at the end, and pull it through your hair. It colored your hair a bright color and washed out when you took a shower that night. Since it wasn’t permanent, it was something her parents allowed her to play with when she wanted. Tracy had put one bright pink streak through Kayla’s hair and showed it to her in the bathroom mirror. For a minute, Kayla had been smiling, and had forgotten all about how worried she was about her mother.

“I asked you a question, young lady.” The nasty old lady asked. “Where are your parents?”

“That’s none of your business.” Kayla said bitterly. She was absolutely seething, but afraid she was going to start crying at the same time. “Leave me alone.”

“You rude little…”

The woman reached out to grab Kayla’s arm, and Kayla acted on instinct. Sure, this was a frail little old lady, but she was a stranger and, at least for a moment, Kayla was alone. Kayla jerked away from the woman and started to scream.

“THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY HAIR! YOU’RE JUST A MEAN OLD LADY AND I TOLD YOU TO **LEAVE. ME. ALONE!”**

“What in the hell is going on here?”

Dean had come out of the bathroom and was running to Kayla. He bent down in front of her, not sure whether to be angry, worried, or both. Kayla was sobbing hysterically, trying in short, panicked breaths to defend herself and tell Dean what had happened.

“Kay, calm down. Just take a breath first.” He turned to the little old lady he’d seen in the aisle with her. “Did she get hurt?”

“No. Are you this child’s father?”

Caught off guard by the woman’s snobby tone, Dean pulled Kayla a little closer to him. “No. I’m her uncle. And I asked you a question. Did she get hurt?”

“Yes. Someone needs to take a firm hand to this child. She shouldn’t be allowed to do that to her hair. I simply told her that, and she was rather rude to me about it.”   
  


Kayla was frantically shaking her head and pointing at the old lady, still trying to tell Dean her side of the story.

“Okay, okay. Calm down, baby. I can’t understand you. Take a breath and tell me.”

Kayla remembered what her mother had taught her years earlier. Take a deep breath, let it out. Take a deep breath, let it out. Take a deep breath, let it out. She repeated it a fifth time, then felt calm enough to share her story.

“I was…” Kayla swallowed and took another breath. “…looking for a present…for Mary. She was…being mean…to me. Asking me where…my parents were. I asked her…nice…to leave me alone…but she wouldn’t…and she went to…grab me…”

_Bingo_ , Dean thought. He’d known that Kayla hadn’t started screaming just because the woman was ‘being mean’ to her. “You put your hands on my niece?”

“I never touched her.”

“But you were going to.” Dean said. It wasn’t a question.

“I moved. Before she could.” Kayla said. She was calmer, but still crying steadily. “I didn’t do anything to her, uncle Deanie, I swear.”

“I believe you.” Dean assured her. “Come here.” He picked up Kayla and she threw her arms around his neck. Rubbing her back to calm Kayla, he got an idea. “Kay, do you want to tell her where your mother is right now?”

Kayla turned and sniffled. “My mommy’s in the hospital. She might not wake up. My daddy’s over there with her. We’re trying to get Mommy and my little sister a present so maybe she’ll wake up and come home.”

“Excuse me?” A middle-aged man dressed in a store uniform had appeared at the end of the aisle. “I’m Roger. I’m the store manager. Is there a problem?”

“Yes. This lady here, if you can call her that, has been harassing my niece and tried to grab her.” Dean said.

Roger nodded. “Is that true, sweetie?”

“Yes, sir.” Kayla answered quietly.

Roger turned to the old lady and shook his head. “Lydia, I’ve told you before. You harass my customers, you can’t come back.”

“I didn’t do anything…”

“You leave now, or I call the cops.” Roger said firmly. “This is it. You’re done.”

“You can’t ban me! I need my groceries!”

“You should have thought about that before you bothered this little girl. Now what’s your choice? Leave now or leave in handcuffs?”

Lydia grabbed her purse and stormed off in what Dean was sure she thought was a dignified fashion. Kayla was beginning to calm down enough to want to get down, so Dean put her down and she checked the cart.

“I’m so sorry, you guys. Can I do anything for you?” Roger asked.

“No. Dude, you did great. Thank you.” Dean said. “She’s done this before?”

“Unfortunately, yes. Don’t worry. I’m going to ban her and she won’t be able to come back without getting arrested.”

“Thank you for making her leave.” Kayla said.

“You’re welcome, honey. Is there anything else you need to get?”

“Uncle Dean, I was gonna get this for the baby. What do you think?” Kayla asked. She held up a blanket with Sesame Street characters on it.

“Perfect, kiddo. Throw it in.”

“We’re ready to pay now.” Kayla told Roger.

“All right, sweetie. Come on. I’ll take care of you two myself.”

Roger pulled the cart to the registers and checked out Dean and Kayla. He gave them a deep discount and offered Kayla her choice of a free dessert from the bakery to take back to her mother. When Dean finally made it back to the car and Kayla was buckled in, he noticed she was having a hard time looking at him.

“Hey, kiddo. What are you thinking about?”

Kayla took one of the calming breaths she’d taken in the store before answering. “I don’t want to tell Daddy about this.”   
  


“What? Why not?”

“Because he’s already upset enough.” Kayla said. She looked to Dean with desperate, hopeful eyes. “You promise you won’t say anything?”

“As long as you promise me that the reason you don’t want to tell him is because he’s upset and not because you think you did anything wrong.”

“I yelled at her.” Kayla said. “I’m not supposed to yell at anybody, especially grown-ups.”

“Bug, listen to me. When someone you don’t know tries to grab you, I don’t care who it is, you do exactly what you did today. Yell, scream, fight, do whatever you have to to get somebody’s attention. I will say this as many times as I have to. You did nothing wrong today.”

“You mean it?”

“I do. So I won’t tell your Dad if you swear to me you believe that. If you don’t, I’ll tell your Dad _everything_ and let him tell you until you do believe it. You hear me?”

“I hear you.” Kayla said. “I believe you.”

“Okay. Let’s go take this stuff to your mom.”

Dean grabbed the key and started the car when he got a text from Sam. _We’re in the cafeteria. Me, Dad, and Leslie. Bring Kayla so she can eat lunch first, please. You can join us too._

“Hey, kiddo. Your dad wants me to bring you to the cafeteria so you can eat lunch. How about I take your cake home and stick in the fridge? You can give it to your mom when you get home.”

Kayla nodded. Now that the confrontation in the store was over, Kayla’s mind went back to her original plan. Sam had told her earlier that Jess was in a part of the hospital that she wasn’t allowed to go to, so Kayla had decided on the trip over-she’d somehow get away from her father and grandparents long enough to find her mother’s room on her own. It would no doubt get her in big trouble, but she didn’t care. Kayla asked Dean to take Jess’s candy home too, giving the excuse that her doctors probably wouldn’t let her have it. Dean agreed, and they drove across the street to the hospital.

_I’m coming, Mommy._


	10. Chapter 10

_Nine Years Old_

"Okay. Thanks for telling me. I'll talk to Kayla when she gets home."

Jess hung up the phone and immediately wished she had never picked it up. The day had seemed close to perfect. Sam was off work, so he'd been home with her and the baby all day. Kayla was at school, but the family was due for a long weekend and Kayla would be right there with them. After the phone call Jess had just gotten, she wondered if Kayla would be there with them even longer.

It left Jess absolutely stunned. Tracy was such a wonderful kid. She and Kayla had met the year before. Jess had heard how much Tracy cheered up Kayla the year before when she'd slipped into a coma after having Mary. Ever since, the two girls had been virtually inseparable. Jess took a seat on the living room couch and ran her hand through her hair.

"Jess? What happened?"

Leslie returned from the bathroom, where she'd bathed Mary after Mary had somehow gotten applesauce in her hair. "Are you alright, honey?"

"No. That was Kayla's teacher."

"Is she okay?"

"She won't be for long." Jess said.

"What does that mean?" Sam asked. "Is she in trouble or something?"

"No. Tracy died last night."

"She…she what?" Sam asked, just as shocked as Jess had been just a moment ago.

"Kayla's friend Tracy?" Leslie asked, putting a babbling Mary down into her playpen. "What in the world happened?"

"Apparently her mom and her mom's boyfriend got into some massive fight. That's all anyone knows right now."

"Did he kill her?" Leslie asked.

"That's what it looks like." Jess said. "But they're still investigating. And Tracy's mom is missing."

"Oh, that poor baby." Leslie said.

Jess eyed the clock. Kayla was due home in just under fifteen minutes. "Mom, would you take Mary tonight? Sam and I need to talk to Kayla and I'm just not sure how she'll react."

"Of course I will."

"Why did the teacher call you?" Sam asked. "Is she calling all the parents?"

"No. They're going to wait out the weekend to see if the police come up with anything. They'll tell the rest of Kayla's class on Tuesday. She called me because she knew the two of them were close and she figured we'd want to be the ones to tell her."

"Kayla's bus just pulled up." Leslie said. "I'll take Mary now. Call me if you need me, okay?"

"I'm home!" Kayla called from the front door. She took off her shoes and walked into the living room with the rest of the family. "Hi, Grandma!"

"Hey, sweetie. How was school?"

"Good." Kayla put her backpack down and immediately picked up on the tense atmosphere in the living room. "What's going on?"

"Kay, Daddy and I have to talk to you about something." Jess said.

"Am I in trouble?" Kayla asked nervously.

"No, honey. Why would you think that?"

"Because you both look upset."

"No, Kay, you're not in trouble." Sam assured her. "Grandma's gonna take Mary to her house for the night. Give them both a kiss and come here with me and Mommy."

Kayla kissed her grandmother and sister goodbye, then took her seat on the couch. She still thought, despite Sam's assurances, that she was in trouble. Her parents both looked too upset for something not to be wrong. Sam took a seat on one side of her, Jess on the other. Both seemed nervous, and Kayla wondered which one would talk first.

"Kay, we have something important to tell you." Jess said.

"What?" Kayla asked.

Jess swallowed hard. The words were there, she just couldn't get them out.

"Kay, Tracy was hurt last night." Sam jumped in. "We're not entirely sure what happened, but she was hurt pretty bad."

"What?" Kayla jumped. That she hadn't been expecting. "Is she okay?"

"No, honey, she's not."

"Is she in the hospital? Can I go see her?"

"Bug, I'm sorry. Tracy died last night."

"What?" Kayla asked. "No. That can't be right."

"I'm sorry, Bug." Sam said again. "But it is."

"Was it Derrick?"

Jess and Sam took a look at each other before Jess asked, "Why would you say that, Kayla?"

"She told me he was mean to her a lot. She wouldn't tell me what she meant, but she was really scared of him."

"We don't know for sure, Bug. But that's what the police think, yes."

"I should've said something, but I promised her I wouldn't…"

"Kay, sweetie, this is not your fault." Sam said. "It's not your fault, okay?"

"Yes, it is. I should've said something. I could've helped her…."

Jess wanted to tell Kayla again that it wasn't her fault, but Kayla was too distraught. She folded into her mother's arms, and Jess could think of nothing else to do but sit there and hold her. Kayla eventually fell asleep, and Sam tucked her in. He and Jess went to the kitchen, both lost as to what to do now. Eventually Jess went to check on Kayla, then started to wash the dishes in the sink. There just wasn't anything to say, no magic words that she or Sam could utter that would take away all, or even any, of the pain that Kayla was feeling.

And that broke both of their hearts.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: In this chapter, Leslie, Jess’s mother and Kayla’s grandmother, has just died, and Kayla has shut down a bit from it. In the original story, Leslie was the victim of a car accident. Kayla and Mary were in the car with her. Kayla received minor injuries and Mary was unhurt. Kayla doesn’t talk in this chapter, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have anything to say.**

**I’ve had quite a few people comment on my tendency to make Kayla shut down when bad things happen to her. That’s just the way that some people cope. Kayla always bounces back eventually. Trust me, I know from experience. Patience is the way to break someone out of a cycle like this. If it continues, get help for sure, but just letting someone be and not pushing them goes a long way too.**

_Ten Years Old_

As it turned out, taking care of two kids and a wife was hard sometimes.

It had never seemed that way before. While it was never easy, the job had always brought him joy. Sam had always reveled in being his family’s provider, protector, and whatever else they happened to need at the time. He’d held many titles over the twelve years he and Jess had been together-husband, shopping partner, Daddy, diaper changer, chauffer, disciplinarian, story teller, bad dream exterminator, Kleenex, nurse, wrestling partner, and jungle gym, among others. But lately, Sam was struggling in a way that he never had before.

Jess was depressed in a way that Sam had never seen her before. Sam had taken a week and a half off after Leslie died, and taken care of her funeral arrangements, accepted all the food and gifts from well meaning but slightly overwhelming neighbors, watched out for his father, and taken care of the girls’ daily needs. But the time came when he had to return to work, and his father returned home, so Sam had pulled Kayla to the side.

Kayla still wasn’t talking. She hadn’t said a word in nearly two weeks, but Sam didn’t know what he would’ve done without her. In the first few days after Leslie’s death, he’d woken up and found Mary already awake, dressed, and eating breakfast. Kayla would change Mary’s diaper before Sam even knew it was dirty. She would do almost anything and everything she saw needed doing-laundry, sweeping the living room floor, dishes, and she did it without being told and without any hint of complaint. Sam was grateful, but he wanted his little girl back.

Today was no different. He asked Kayla to join him on the couch, and she did just that. Sat down next to him and looked out, as if she was just blankly waiting for instructions. Sam put an arm around her, and while she didn’t pull away from him, she didn’t react either.

“I need to talk to you.”

Kayla frowned.

“You’re not in trouble.” Sam said, guessing that she was afraid. Kayla immediately relaxed and looked up at him curiously. “Just the opposite. I want to thank you. You’ve helped me so much these last few days. I couldn’t have done this without you. But I need your help. Will you help me?”

Kayla nodded.

“I have to go back to work tomorrow. Mommy’s probably going to need a lot of help too. I do want you to help her, but I want you to have some fun too. It’s summer break. I want you to go over to your friend’s houses, play outside on your swing set, ride your bike, all that stuff. Don’t spend the whole summer working, okay? You’ll have plenty of time for that when you’re a grown up. I want you to be a kid while you can. Promise me?”

Kayla seemed in deep thought, but she eventually nodded to her father’s request.

“Good.”

Sam was relieved. He hoped Kayla would listen to him. He hated resorting to making having fun an order, but he was desperate. He hadn’t seen Kayla do anything remotely enjoyable in the last few days, and he just wanted her to get somewhat back to normal. Kayla got off the couch and went into her room, bringing something back to Sam. It was an old and battered copy of one of Kayla’s favorite books, _Ramona and Her Father._ Kayla put the book into Sam’s hand and pointed to it.

“You want me to read to you?”

Kayla nodded.

“Okay, Bug.”

Sam was more than willing to do it. Kayla had given him more than enough over the last days. She’d not done anything for herself at all. He took the book and read to her until it was time for dinner, then read to her again before bed. As Kayla fell asleep that night, Sam took a long, drawn out look at her. She was only ten years old, but the trauma and heartache of the last two weeks seemed to have added years to her. Sam kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear,

“Sleep well, Bug. Daddy loves you.”

In a throwback to Kayla’s younger days, when she would seem to be asleep but not quite, Kayla grabbed Sam’s hand and squeezed it. She didn’t say it, but Sam heard the message. _Love you too, Daddy._


	12. Chapter 12

_Eleven Years Old_

The last day of school.

For the first five of her school years, she’d always looked forward to this day. Now, it brought nothing but dread. For the last month, Kayla had been in denial of what this day meant. Her parents had sat her down and told her, but Kayla refused to believe it. As she walked slowly through the halls to head back to her house, she tried to soak it all in. Because deep down, she knew that no matter how hard she fought against her parents, she’d never convince them to stay.

She made it back to her house forty minutes after the last school bell had rung. Her uncle Bobby’s old moving truck, which had been gifted to him by a friend when his truck rental store went out of business, was in the driveway, and her uncle Dean was moving box after box towards the truck. Kayla smiled. Dean was in for a surprise when he got to her bedroom. Fighting her parents on the move, refusing to go with them, and begging to move in with her grandfather hadn’t worked, so Kayla had chosen the passive aggressive route of not packing her room up at all.

But it was Kayla that was in for a shock.

When she got to her room, Kayla found two things. On her bed was a duffel bag, still open with what Kayla found to be five complete changes of clothes, toothpaste, her toothbrush, and her hairbrush. Another bag was packed a few books, her Gameboy with all her games, a notebook with a small bag of pens, pencils, crayons, and markers, and some snacks that travelled easily like gummy bears and cereal bars. There were also a few gallon sized Ziploc bags, which Kayla knew from past road trips was for trash.

Jess had seen Kayla walk in and prepared herself for the inevitable explosion. John was in the kitchen with her, helping to make sure she hadn’t left anything important behind. She had given Kayla a week to pack up her own room, thinking that if Kayla had control over what went where, she would maybe, just maybe, go along with this a little bit easier. She and Sam both had offered to help, but Kayla refused, saying she wasn’t going no matter what anyone said, so there was no reason for her to pack up her room. When Jess didn’t hear anything, she excused herself and walked down to what would tomorrow be Kayla’s old room.

She was surprised to find Kayla standing in the doorway, looking out at her room without saying a word. Jess laid a cautious hand on her shoulder, and Kayla’s only response was to put down her backpack at her door and walk to her bed. Jess cleared her throat and spoke as calmly as she could.

“You still have time to look through your boxes if there’s anything I packed that you’re gonna want for the trip up there.”

Kayla nodded and whispered, “Okay.”

Jess frowned. “Kay…”

“I won’t fight it anymore, Mom. Just give me a few minutes alone, please.”

Jess nodded. She wondered if she was just imagining it, or if there really was a barely audible crack in Kayla’s voice as she said it. She turned to leave, and could hear a car driving up in the driveway. Sam was back from the car dealership, where he’d gone with Bobby to sell her car so they’d have one less vehicle to worry about transporting to their new house. Two-and-a-half year old Mary was babbling away to someone, likely Dean, and Jess hoped that Mary would be happier during the trip than her sister was at the moment.

Kayla dug around in her backpack for something her parents didn’t know she kept. It was a photo, taken a year earlier, at Mary’s first birthday party. It was the only photo she had of everyone. Her parents were in it, Mary, Dean, Bobby, and her grandparents. To Kayla, that photo represented everything that was important in her life. Now, because she was only eleven and didn’t seem to have any choice in the matter at all, she was being asked to give up most of them just so her father could have a better job.

It was so unfair to Kayla. Things were just starting to feel normal again after losing her grandmother the year before. It was getting less and less painful to see her grandmother’s old house, only a few doors down from the one they were in now, occupied by the family that lived there. Kayla wasn’t picking up the phone to call her grandmother anymore when she had things to talk about that she didn’t want to discuss with her mother.

Well, not much, anyway.

But everything was changing again. Exactly a month earlier, her parents had sat her down and said they had something to talk to her about. They’d said all the familiar things and the unfamiliar ones. We need you to listen. Hear us out. Be a big girl about this, please, because Mommy and I are going to need your help. We’ll need you to help with Mary, do a few more chores than usual for a while, but we’ll pay you back by spending time doing things you want to do once we get settled.

None of that mattered to Kayla. She wasn’t leaving her family. She wasn’t leaving Bobby, Dean, or her grandfather.

But again, she didn’t get a choice. She didn’t seem to ever get a choice over anything that truly mattered. To Kayla, while her father’s job was important, it wasn’t as important as the family was. If her father for some reason didn’t have a job, she knew that her grandfather and uncles would help them. They’d help them get through until Sam found another job. But Sam hadn’t lost his job. He’d applied for this one because, according to him, it was a better one and would give them all a _better life_.

Whatever that meant.

A knock at the door got no response from Kayla. She knew even without looking up that it was her father, and that he was watching her carefully and wondering what to say. He was wondering what he could say or do to make this better, and Kayla wished he would just stop. She knew it was unfair to him for her to be so angry with him. He was excited about his new job, and her hurt and anger was making it harder for him to enjoy it. But she couldn’t help it. She felt how she felt, and she couldn’t just stop to make him feel better.

“What are you looking at?” Sam asked.

Kayla, afraid to answer him without crying, just flipped the picture over and showed it to him.

“Where’d you get this?” Sam asked with a smile. He remembered the day well, and it was one of the happiest memories he had of the last year.

“I made a copy of it.” Kayla said.

“I see.” Sam said awkwardly. He handed the photo back to Kayla, and there was a long, awkward silence between them. “How was school?”

“Okay.”

“I can’t believe you start seventh grade next year.” Sam said disbelievingly. “Seems like just yesterday mom and I were dropping you off at kindergarten.”

Kayla just nodded. She still didn’t trust herself to say anything. Sam sighed and took Kayla’s hand.

“I’m sorry, Bug. I know this is hard for you. Please believe me when I say I get how hard this is. But I’m just asking you to give this a chance.”

Kayla took a couple of the deep breaths she had learned from her mother years earlier before answering. She didn’t want to hurt her father, but she had to know.

“I’m not trying to start an argument with you. Okay? It’s a real question.”

Sam nodded. “Okay. What question?”

“And what if I give it a chance and I still don’t like it?” Kayla asked. “I don’t have any friends or anything over there. We’re a long way away from anything we know. What happens if I really do give it a chance and I don’t feel happy over there?”

“I’ll make you a deal. If you give it a real shot, really try and make some friends, and you honestly can’t, if you still feel miserable at the end of the year, then I’ll let you come home and spend every Christmas break and summer with your grandpa and uncles.”

A shocked Kayla’s mouth fell open. “Really?”

“I’ll have to check with them, and check with your mom, but I don’t think anyone will have a problem with it.”

Kayla sniffed. The tears were becoming harder to fight. “It’s May now. School doesn’t start until September. Can you promise we’ll come back and visit before school starts?”

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to come with you, but yes, I’ll send you back for at least a long weekend.”

“You promise you won’t get mad on the way up there if I start crying again?” Kayla said. “I’ll try not to…”

“Don’t. You don’t have to try and hide how you feel from me, honey. I want you to tell me when you’re feeling upset or mad.”

“But I don’t like making you feel bad.”

“You let me worry about how I feel. I’m your dad. It’s my job to worry about you too.” Sam said. “If you need to cry, it’s okay.”

Kayla nodded. “Okay.”

“Hey. We’re gonna take our time to get there. And I promise we’ll stop and do at least one fun thing a day. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“I love you, Bug. You know that?”

“Yeah I know. I love you too.”

“Come on, Bug. Let’s go.” Sam said. “Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t you look up things for us to do while we’re in the way?”

Kayla finally smiled. Maybe everything would be okay. “Okay.”

“Kay’a!”

“Hey, Mary.” Kayla said.

“We go bye-bye! Kay’a sit wif me?”

“Yeah. I’ll sit with you. Let’s go.” 

Two weeks passed, and as much as Kayla tried, she still had a hard time adjusting. Even though John and Dean were travelling with them, she cried in the car at the thought of them leaving. She called Bobby through every day of their journey, crying when she hung up the phone with him. More than once, Sam caught her crying quietly in the backseat. She wasn’t sure how to approach the children on their street. Most of her friends in South Dakota had been her friends since they were all in preschool together. Not knowing what else to do, Sam asked his coworkers for help and came up with an idea. He put it into action when he got home from work one afternoon.

“Hey, Kay. Come here, honey.”

“Coming!” Kayla called from down the hall. “I’m changing Mary!”

Sam hung his jacket up on the door and waited patiently. Mary came charging out of her bedroom and crashed into her father just as Kayla came out behind her.

“Whoa! Where’d this rocket ship come from?” Sam asked as he scooped up Mary.

Mary giggled ferociously. “’m not a rocket ship, Daddy! You silly!”

“My goodness, that was you?” Sam asked, tickling the squirming Mary.

“That was me!”

“Well I think I’ll have to put something on your feet to slow you down. What do you think?”

“No!” Mary said.

Sam chuckled. “Come on. Give me a kiss.”

Mary quickly kissed Sam’s cheek and squirmed enough that he put her down. Kayla threw out Mary’s dirty diaper and came back to her father, wondering what he could want.

“Get your jacket. I have a surprise for you.”

“Okay. What about dinner?”

“We’ll get some dinner before we get where we’re going.” Sam said. “Your mom knows what’s going on.”

“It’s just us?” Kayla asked, surprised.

“Yeah. You okay with that?”

Kayla smiled. “Yeah.”

Sam took Kayla to a Mexican restaurant that he’d spotted their first night there. The two of them made friends with the waitress, and it was getting dark by the time that they left.

“That was great, Dad. Thanks.”

“I’m glad you liked it. But the night’s not over.” Sam said with a grin.

“What? There’s more?”

“Yep. Come on.”

Five minutes later, they were pulling up to the outskirts of a park. Kayla’s mouth dropped. The park was beautiful. It was meticulously kept, the grass cut almost so that every blade was exactly the same length. The playground equipment was painted in bright oranges and greens and blues and purples and was just overall very pleasant to look at. There was equipment for kids of all ages, and Kayla even saw a few kids her own age. There was a hiking trail, a basketball court, picnic benches, and a place to park bicycles.

“I know you’re a little old for a playground, but…”

Kayla shocked her father by grabbing his neck and squeezing it. “This is great, Dad.”

“Yeah?”

“You bet. Come on, let’s go.”

“Go where?”

“Let’s race.”

As he watched Kayla play and smile for the first time since arriving, Sam finally felt at peace about moving. He missed his brother and father and Bobby, but for now, he was home.


	13. Chapter 13

_Twelve Years Old_

“Eww!”

Kayla tried to ignore nearly four-year-old Mary’s voice as she vomited again. She heard Jess come to the bathroom and scold Mary for staring at her sister. Kayla wanted to say _don’t fuss at her, Mom, it is pretty gross,_ but words weren’t an option at the moment. The second she opened up her mouth to say anything else, into the toilet all her words-and lunch-went.

Kayla felt her mother pull back her hair with one hand and rub her back with the other. It was comforting, but just barely. Kayla’s stomach felt like one of the stress balls Kayla had to squeeze when she got a shot. She wondered if she was imagining it, but she felt that every time she stood up, her stomach moved in a different way than the rest of her body.

Where had this come from? Kayla had felt fine the day before. She hadn’t had an appetite, but she had put that up to just not being hungry for some reason. Then, that morning, she’d woken up with a fever and nausea that made her not want to move. As much as she might not have wanted to, though, the throwing up compelled her to do just that. Sleeping in her own vomit was enough of a push to get her out of bed.

Finally, she stopped. She felt Jess flush the toilet and pull her away gently. Kayla was a little dizzy, so she stayed where she was while Jess went back to the kitchen and got a cold bottle of water out of the fridge. Kayla shook her head, afraid to put anything in her mouth for fear of it coming back up again.

“Just drink a little.” Jess urged. “You need to stay hydrated or you’ll get even sicker.”

Kayla nodded and took a couple of sips of the water. Her dizziness ebbed away, and Jess helped her up.

“You’re not getting any better, are you?”

“No.” Kayla said.

“You really didn’t feel bad yesterday? I thought you looked a little pale.”

“I just wasn’t hungry. That’s all.”

“Okay.” Jess said. “Come on. Let’s go back to bed.”

“Can I sleep in your and dad’s bed?” Kayla asked.

Jess was surprised. Kayla hadn’t wanted to sleep with her or Sam when she was sick since they’d moved the year before.

“It’s closer to the bathroom.” Kayla explained.

“Sure, sweetie.” Jess said. “I know you’re a little old for this, but do you want me to lay down with you?”

“Yes, please.”

“Okay. Come on.”

Jess first took Kayla’s temperature, which had crept up slightly from the night before. She’d tried to give Kayla some fever reducer, but it had just come right back up the first time she’d vomited that morning. This wasn’t the stomach flu. Jess was sure of it. Kayla had had it before, and while it made her miserable for twenty-four hours, she had never vomited with it more than three times. When she’d taken Mary out of the bathroom just a few minutes before, that had been the fourth time since she’d woken up six hours earlier. Once Jess was certain that Kayla was asleep, she carefully climbed off the bed and went to the living room. A worried Mary was watching a cartoon while holding on to the stuffed Snuffleupagus toy that she and Kayla shared.

“Mommy? Is Kay’a okay?”

Jess smiled, trying to hide how very worried she was. “She’s sleeping now, baby.”

“I’m sorry I was mean to her. I didn’t mean to be.”

“It’s okay. Kayla forgives you and so do I.” Jess said.

“Can I gives her my ‘nuffle?” Mary asked, holding up the toy and looking towards the hallway.

“Let her sleep for now, okay? You can give it to her when she wakes up if you want.”

“Okay, Mommy.”

“I’m going to call Daddy, okay? You stay here and watch cartoons.”

Jess stepped to the front door and dialed Sam’s number. She couldn’t shake the feeling that something worse was wrong with Kayla. Each ring of the phone seemed to take forever, and just when Jess was about to give up and just go back inside, Sam finally picked up.

“Hey. Sorry, I was in with my boss. What’s wrong?”

“Sam, Kayla’s gotten really bad. I think we should go to the ER.”

“What’s wrong? How bad is she?”

“Her fever’s gone up to 102. She just threw up for the fourth time.”

“Where is she right now?”

“She’s asleep on our bed.”

Sam was torn. Kayla had seemed to be okay that morning, but was apparently getting worse. Sam was just about to tell Jess to go and check Kayla’s temperature again when Mary yanked open the front door.

“Mommy! Come quick!”

“What’s wrong?” Jess asked, but she heard it before Mary could say anything.

“MOM!”

Kayla was awake again. And this time she was screaming.

“Sam, Kayla just woke up screaming. We’re going to the ER right now.”

Jess didn’t even wait for Sam to answer, just hung up the phone and ran back into the house. Kayla was sitting up on the bed, crying and breathing hard.

“Kay? Talk to me, baby, what’s wrong?”

“Mom, it hurts really bad.” Kayla cried.

“Worse than before?”

“Yeah. A lot worse. Ow, Mom, help…”   
  


“Come on, honey. We’re going to the hospital.”

It was a slow trek to the car, but they finally made it. Jess buckled Kayla into the front seat, ordered Mary into the back and climbed into the driver’s seat. Kayla was trying to breathe through the pain, and Jess just hoped she could get to the ER quickly while both trying to comfort Kayla and keep her eyes on the road. But another obstacle was in their way. When Jess turned the key in the ignition, all she heard was a sputtering noise.

“DAMN IT!”

“Mommy?” Mary asked from the back seat. “What we gonna do?”

Jess didn’t have another choice. She dug out her cell phone. She unbuckled Kayla’s seat belt and grabbed her hand. “Kay, come here, honey.”

Kayla, still crying hard, slowly pushed herself over in the seat towards her mother. Jess helped Kayla turn so that she was lying against her side, and it seemed to help Kayla calm down ever so slightly. Jess turned to the frightened Mary in the backseat. All the while she talked, Kayla was sobbing under her.

“Mary, do you remember the talk we had about calling 911?”

Mary squeezed Snuffle closer to her. “Yeah.”

“I have to do that now. I know you’re worried, but I need you to be quiet and not say anything right now. Do you understand me?”

“Can I get up there and hold Kay’a’s hand?”

Jess swallowed. “Yes. But get out and open the door over here, so you’re not climbing over Kayla, okay?”

“Okay, Mommy.”

Jess dialed the phone, stroking Kayla’s hair and kissing her forehead as she talked to the operator. She would later marvel over Mary’s courage during the ordeal, but right then, all she was worried about was Kayla. As she talked to the operator and suppressed her panic, Mary held Kayla’s hand and assured her over and over again,

“Don’t be scared, Kay’a. Me and Mommy’s here. Daddy’s coming. You be okay.”

Kayla knew of nothing going on except the pain in her stomach. When she closed her eyes to just go to sleep for a minute, hoping it would kill the pain, she figured that she would just open them in a few minutes and everything would be okay. But when she did open them, it took several seconds for her to realize that things weren’t as they should be.

The first thing she noticed was that the pain was gone. For a half second, she felt relief. But the pain had been replaced by an all-encompassing fatigue. She took a breath and felt an ache where her stomach had been hurting just minutes before. She finally opened her eyes and looked around. She wasn’t in her mother’s car anymore. Before the panic could set in, Kayla saw two familiar faces come next to her.

“Hey, Bug.”

Kayla swallowed. Why was her mouth so dry? “Daddy? When’d you get home?”

Sam chuckled. “You’re not home, Bug. You’re in the hospital.”

“Hospital? What happened?”

“How much do you remember?” Jess asked, speaking for the first time since Kayla woke up.

Kayla had to think about it for a second, but she remembered the car, her mother trying to hold her and tell her it would be okay while also talking to someone on the phone, and Mary holding her hand and telling her not to be scared. “My stomach.”

“Yeah. Bug, your stomach hurt so badly because your appendix ruptured.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means you had to have surgery.” Sam explained.

“Is that why I feel like crap?”

“Yep.” Sam answered. “How long did you feel sick?”

“Just since this morning. I didn’t feel hungry yesterday, but not too bad.” Kayla’s head was becoming clearer, making it easier for her to talk. “Can I have a drink of water, please?”

“Sure.” Jess said. She poured Kayla some water and held the straw to her mouth. “Here.”

“Thanks, Mom.” Kayla said. The water woke Kayla up a little more, and she asked, “Where’s Mary?”

“She’s asleep in the chair over there.” Sam said. He pointed to the door, and Kayla spotted Mary wrapped up in a blanket in one of the large, semi-comfortable chairs the hospital provided each room. “We tried to get her to go home and stay with Mrs. Davis, but she pitched a fit and wouldn’t go.”

Kayla smiled. “Did she say it was because I’d stay if it was her?”

“That’s exactly what she said. How’d you know?” Jess asked.

“Lucky guess.” Kayla answered. Her eyes were getting heavy again. “Mommy? Daddy?”

“Yeah, Bug?”

“When do I go home?”

“The doctor wants to keep you for a few hours.” Sam explained.

“Can I go back to sleep now?” Kayla asked.

“You go on, Bug.” Sam said. “We’ll be right here.”

Kayla nodded. “Love ‘ou.”

“We love you too. Go to sleep, kiddo.”

When Kayla woke again, she found Jess sitting on the bed with her, looking down at her. They shared a smile with each other, and Kayla would be an adult before she realized that her mother had stayed that way, sitting on her bed and watching her sleep, for hours. She saw Sam sitting on the chair next to the bed, Mary still sleeping in his lap. He too was awake, and shook awake Mary the second Kayla laid eyes on him. Though the long day and night had scared all of them to the core, it had strengthened them and made them stick together even tighter than before. 


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: So this one’s really short. Sam and Jess have sent Kayla to live with John and they’re still in the period where Sam and Jess haven’t come for a visit yet. Still feeling guilty, Sam is having trouble sleeping and he gets up and thinks about Kayla. It’s a sad chapter, and it’s meant to be.**

_Thirteen Years Old_

The Winchester family was in shambles, and Sam hated himself for it.

Kayla had been away, living with her grandfather and uncles, for exactly six weeks now. The house felt empty, even with Jess and Mary there. The pain still ebbed a little, but Sam had a feeling he was just numb to it now. He would walk through the house looking for Kayla for a few seconds before he’d realize why she wasn’t there. He’d go to her room to wake her up on weekends and panic for a brief second before he came back to reality. He’d see Mary playing by herself, and wonder where Kayla was and why the two of them weren’t together, as they usually were in the better times.

Sam knew that Jess, and probably Kayla, believed that he was sure of the decision to send Kayla to his father’s. But if they knew the truth, Sam honestly believed they would lose any respect they might still have for him. The idea had come in the spur of the moment. He’d been cleaning his car after Kayla had gotten sick in it, and it had just occurred to him. His reasons seemed to make sense. Kayla’s behavior was getting worse, and she just wouldn’t talk to him or Jess about what was going on. Maybe if he sent her back to his father, to the place Kayla truly considered to be ‘home’, maybe they would get some answers.

But Sam knew all those reasons were crap.

The truth was that he just didn’t know what he was doing anymore. He was terrified that he was losing Kayla, and he’d sent her away because he thought that maybe his father could protect that from happening.

What Sam had failed to predict was how big a hole Kayla’s departure would leave.

All of them cried for Kayla, publicly and privately. Mary slept in her sister’s room every night. Jess cleaned the room once a week, which before had been Kayla’s job. Sam picked up the phone and would dial the number to talk to Kayla, only to hang up the phone again, certain that she wouldn’t want to talk to him.

Sam remembered once seeing a dog at Bobby’s and staring at it in amazement. The dog had lost a leg, and while he was able to get around, the dog wasn’t one hundred percent functional anymore. He could walk and get to where he needed to go, but he dealt with pain and issues doing what other dogs could do easily.

Sam felt the family was functioning in the same way. There was a missing limb, one that made them all limp along and try to act like everything was okay. It wasn’t. Their lives were seriously out of balance, and the only way to fix it was for Sam to bring Kayla back.

He could do it. It was well within his power. He had even thought of doing it just to do it. Bring Kayla back and put things back the way they should be, no matter the consequences. But every time he gave it some serious thought, Kayla would call and tell him something about her new school, or her friends, and she’d sound so happy now that he couldn’t do it.

Sam walked down the hall and came to Kayla’s room. It was the middle of the night and he couldn’t sleep. Again. Mary, as she had every night since Kayla left, was sleeping on Kayla’s bed. Sam tucked her in again, kissed her cheek, and said his thankful prayers under his breath that he still had Mary.

In the hallway on the way back to his room, Sam passed the Christmas present Jess had given him last year. Sam was absolutely in love with it. It was a large picture frame, with slots for forty small pictures in them. In one of the slots was a piece of paper written in Jess’ neat handwriting _Kayla Ellen Winchester-birth to 18._ Halfway down the frame was another paper with _Mary Deanna Winchester-birth to 18._ For each girl, in the first slot after their name, was a picture of the day they were born, followed by their first birthday, second, third, and so on. Sam stopped and looked at the most recent picture for Kayla. It had been taken a few months ago, on the day of her thirteenth birthday. She was smiling broadly, and Dean was standing just behind her. Sam and Jess hadn’t told her that Dean was coming, and Sam smiled when he remembered her reaction. She’d shouted _Uncle Deanie!_ before grabbing Dean in a hug and refusing to let him go for several minutes. It was one of the last times that Sam remembered seeing Kayla truly happy.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry we’re so broken right now. I love you to the moon and back, Bug.”

Not knowing what else he could do to soothe his aching heart, Sam went back to bed.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: This chapter is the chapter where Sam and Jess are talking with Kayla about Art after everything has come out. In the original story, when Kayla reveals her fear that one day her sister will be hurt the same way that she was, Sam pulls Kayla into his lap and holds her for the night. This is Kayla’s POV of that scene, where she remembers other times that sitting in her Daddy’s lap made her feel better.**

Before the year that she’d just been through, there was one place Kayla could go for healing. Her father’s lap gave her comfort when she was scared, broken hearted, sick, sad, or just in need of love and attention. It gave her peace, comfort, and security, something that had been in scarce supply the last few months.

Kayla didn’t remember, but just two months before her first birthday, when she’d grown six teeth in two weeks, it was the only place she would fall asleep and stay asleep.

At two, she’d cried there for five nights straight, convinced that there was a monster in her room that would swallow her up and eat her.

At six, she’d sat there to get the answer to a question that scared her-could you shrivel up into a skeleton from crying too much?

At eight, she’d sat there and gotten to know her little sister, who she’d been afraid would take her mommy and daddy away from her.

At nine she’d sat there cried as her father patched her up from wounds from falling down the concrete stairs in front of the house.

At ten she’d sat there silently for many nights after her grandmother died, listening to his deep voice lull her to sleep and keep her safe from the nightmares that were almost sure to follow.

From eleven until thirteen, she’d gone through a phase of believing she was too big for Daddy’s lap to fix her problems. She would seek him out for a hug when she needed it, but that was it. Fights with her sister, mother, or even her father were solved by apologizing to them, but still feeling a resentment deep inside her that made her feel like a bad person. Kayla was growing up, and felt like her parents didn’t see that as often as she would like.

But now, at fourteen, Kayla was very relieved to find that her father’s lap still held the same healing ability it had held when she was a small child. This hurt was too big, too festering, still too fresh to be solved in one night of her father holding her, but finally the sharp edges of the pain were beginning to fade. She could feel her ability to breathe deeply starting to come back, and for a moment she felt something she hadn’t felt in months.

Peace.

Her worst fear had been realized, and the worst hadn’t happened. Her father had discovered her deepest, darkest secret, and he didn’t hate her for it. When she said it to herself in her head, she couldn’t help but wonder why he _didn’t_ hate her at all, but she was grateful he didn’t. The words sounded nasty to her even now.

She had had sex with her father’s best friend. No, not by choice, but still.

Still. She’d had sex with her father’s best friend.

Despite her mother and father telling her, over and over, that it wasn’t her fault, Kayla still wasn’t sure she believed them. It was her fault. Her father had told her the day it happened for the first time not to open the door for anyone. Kayla, despite her misgivings about Art, had assumed he was safe. He’d come to the door after her parents and little sister left that day, claiming to have papers that needed her father’s signature. Kayla had told him to leave them in the mailbox, and when she thought it was safe, she’d opened the door.

Things got worse from there, and Kayla blamed herself for the whole thing.

But for right now, none of that mattered. What mattered was feeling safe and secure and loved right where she was. She cried out some of the pain she still carried inside her, the physical wounds having healed long ago. Just like when she was one, and two, and six, and nine, and ten, it was Sam’s voice that helped her fall asleep, safe and loved and in the complete faith that the bad dreams were gone for the night.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: So, while the whole family is involved in this chapter, it really focuses on Kayla. She’s fifteen, and a school dance is coming up. Jess wants Kayla to go, wanting her to be more social and hang out with other teenagers. Kayla, still struggling with how she sees herself after Art, both wants to go and doesn’t. Mary hears Kayla talking about it and comes up with a solution.**

**Kayla and Jess reach a compromise about the dance in this chapter. A friend of mine who read the chapter before I posted it here thought that Kayla was really asking too much of her mother with the compromise, but I disagree. Feel free to comment on that, but as always, while disagreement is okay, flaming or destructive reviews will not be tolerated.**

The dress was gorgeous.

It was pink, decorated with red, white and pink roses. It reached her ankles in the back and came up to her knees in the front. There was a belt around her middle, and the pink shoes she had on were flat enough to be comfortable, but pretty enough that they flattered her dress just enough to make her outfit beautiful. A gasp from the doorway seemed to agree with Kayla’s assessment.

“Oh, Bug! You look beautiful!”

Kayla smiled. “Thanks, Mom.”

Jess was suddenly overtaken by how grown up Kayla looked. She placed a hand to her mouth and tried not to cry in a mix of joy and nostalgia.

“Mom, come on. Don’t cry.”

“I won’t.” Jess lied, even as she wiped a tear away. “You just look so pretty.”

“Thanks, Mom.” Kayla said again. She turned back to her mirror and frowned. “It’s too bad this is the only place I’ll ever wear it.”

“What does that mean?” Jess asked.

Kayla sighed and took a seat on the bed. She didn’t want to answer the question, and hadn’t even intended on voicing that thought out loud. Kayla suddenly took an unusual interest in her shoes as Jess took a seat next to her and took her hand.

“Talk to me. What’s going on?”

“I can’t do it.”

“What?” Jess asked.

“I can’t do it, Mom. I can’t go to this dance.”

“Why not?”

“It’s too hard.” Kayla said. “I can’t go to this dance and pretend like I’m this normal kid…”

“I don’t understand. What do you mean, a normal kid? Why do you feel like you’re not?”

“Come on, Mom.”

“Bug, I really don’t…”

It clicked in Jess’s brain what Kayla was talking about and she was shocked. Kayla didn’t want to go to because she was still struggling with Art and what happened to her. Jess had always known that Kayla would never be completely over Art, but she’d thought that Kayla was okay enough now to do somewhat normal things like school dances.

Apparently not.

“Maybe I should get grandpa to take this back.”

Jess smiled at that. She had gotten quite the shock two weeks earlier when John had offered to go dress shopping with Kayla. Sam had agreed enthusiastically, and explained to Jess later that if the dress passed John’s inspection, it would most likely pass Sam’s too. Jess was worried that Kayla would never find a dress she liked having to run it by her grandfather, but she’d come back from that shopping trip happy and relaxed, so Jess had left it alone.

The problem that Jess had struggled with for a year now reared its head again. She couldn’t force Kayla to go to this school dance, but it was important for her to start to be more social. How did she get Kayla to get out of the house and do things with people her age, but still make her feel safe and secure when she did it?

“Wow.”

Kayla and Jess both turned to the doorway of her room. Sam had appeared, and was staring at Kayla open-mouthed. Kayla blushed and smiled even bigger than before.

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Oh, Bug. You look so grown up.”

“You guys, stop it. Seriously. You’re embarrassing me.”

Sam went in to join Jess and Kayla, but out in the hallway, seven-year-old Mary’s brain was turning. She knew what her sister was doing. Kayla did like it when Mommy and Daddy told her she was pretty, but she wouldn’t really believe it later. Mary needed to do something to help convince Kayla she really was pretty. Mary snuck down to her room and called into the hallway.

“Daddy! Can you come help me with something, please?”

“Coming!”

When Sam left to go and help Mary, Jess turned back to Kayla. “Is there anything I can do to help convince you to go to this dance?”

Kayla gave it serious consideration before answering. “No.”

“Really? Nothing at all?”

“Well, it’s kind of selfish.” Kayla said. “It’s a lot to ask.”

“What, Bug?”

“Would you sit in the car at school while I go?” Kayla asked. “That way if I get there and I want to go, you guys are already there?”

Jess smiled. “That’s it? Of course I’ll do that.”

“For three hours?” Kayla asked.

“I’ll bring a book.” Jess said. “Bug, I’m your Mom. If sitting in the car for three hours is the worst you ever asked of me, I’d be in good shape.”

Kayla smiled. “Thanks, Mom.”

“You know, though, that your dad would freak out with me sitting in a dark parking lot by myself at night.” Jess warned. “He’ll have to come too.”

“Yeah, I know.” Kayla said. “It’s okay.”

Mary was brilliant. Sam was sure of it. She was a genius. When he’d left Mary’s room, he’d made Kayla promise to stay in her dress and help Jess to get dressed too. He and Mary together headed down the street to Bobby’s, where he was happy to find that John, Bobby, and Dean were all home together. An hour later, through Mary’s prodding the cooperation of the three men and Sam doing the legwork, everything was ready.

Four doors was a long way to walk in a formal dress and shoes. But Kayla and Jess took the trip, stopping when they found Sam standing in the front door waiting for them, dressed in the suit he typically wore to work.

“What’s going on?” Kayla asked.

Sam extended his hand and Kayla took it. “Come inside and see.”

Sam escorted Jess and Kayla inside by the hand, and both of them stopped short just as they got to the living room. All the furniture had been moved to one side of the room. The books that regularly littered the living room had been put away somewhere. There were white Christmas lights strung over the walls that were lit up, while the normal lights in the house were all turned off. John, Dean, and Bobby were all in suits, similar to Sam’s, and Mary stood next to them grinning in her Easter dress.

“What is all this?” Kayla asked again, her smile lighting up again.

“I heard you talking about how you didn’t want to go to your school dance.” Mary said. “So me and Daddy made you one!”

An overwhelmed Kayla laughed and hugged her sister. “This is great!”

“Well, I for one, want to…” Bobby started to say, a hint of grumpiness in his voice that was chased away when Sam cleared his throat and Mary glowered and crossed her arms, “…dance the night away.”

Mary grinned and nodded.

“Uncle Bobby?” Kayla asked. “Will you do the first dance with me?”

Kayla went through a dance with her father, uncle Bobby, uncle Dean, her grandfather, her mother, and back to her father again. She knew that Mary had probably browbeaten all the men into participating, but an hour after everything had started, everyone was laughing and having a good time. When they had a moment to themselves a little while later, Mary admitted to her sister,

“I know you don’t feel like you’re pretty. I wanted to show you you are. Did it work?”

Kayla grabbed Mary and squeezed her tightly. Kayla did feel better. She felt loved and safe and secure. She loved how her sister seemed to bring out the best in her, even when Kayla was internally kicking and screaming against it.

“Thank you, Mary.”

“You welcome. Come on, you gotta dance with me too.”


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Okay, guys, I’m fairly sure that this will be my last chapter for a while. I finally got an idea for another story, so that’s the one I’ll be focusing on. I may add to this one once in a while, but it’s on semi-hiatus for a while.**

“Hey, watch where you’re going, jerk!”

As annoying as it was, having her books knocked out of her hands just sealed her already terrible day. She’d woken up thirty minutes late, been thirty seconds late to class and gotten in trouble for it, spilled her lunch all over her brand new clothes, forgotten to turn in a homework assignment that was thirty percent of her final grade, broken the zipper on her backpack, and now had all her books knocked out of her hands.

Kayla was done with this day.

“Can I help?”

Kayla jumped. She hated when people snuck up behind her. But when she turned to glower at her personal space intruder, she found herself instead staring at him. He was cute. Really, really cute. And he was standing above her and smiling.

“Sorry. What?”

“I said can I help? You look like you’re in a bit of bind.”

“Um…” Kayla started to say no, until she looked around and saw her papers and books scattered all around. “Sure. Thanks a lot.”

“No problem. I’m Todd.” Todd reached out a hand, which Kayla took in her own. “Nice to meet you.”

“Kayla.”

Todd proceeded to help Kayla pick up all her things from the ground around her. He suddenly got an idea, reaching into his backpack and pulling out a couple of reusable shopping bags he kept in there.

“Do you want to use these? Until you figure out what to do about your backpack?”

“Sure. Thanks.” Kayla took the bags and carefully placed her things inside of them. “I can bring them back to you at school tomorrow.”

“That’s okay. Keep ‘em. My mom has a thousand of them.”

“Thanks again for the help.”

“You need some help taking your stuff home?”

“Um, that’s probably not a good idea. No offense, but I don’t really want a thousand questions from my family about who the random guy is from school.”

“It’s okay. I get it. I’m new in town so my parents want to know all about what ‘friends’ I’m making at school.”

Kayla laughed. “My mom’s the same way.”

“I should get home. My mom’s still worried about being in a new place and all that.”

“Okay. Thanks again.”

“Hey, you wouldn’t, um…want to go out sometime, would you?”

Did she want to? Yes. Should she? That was a bit of a more complicated question.

“Would you think I’m totally weird if I asked to give you an answer later?”

Todd squinted a little at the unusual request, but shrugged. “It’s not a no. So I guess not.”

“Tell you what. Ask me in a different way every day for a month. The more creative you get, the better chance of me saying yes.”

Todd smiled. “Okay. Deal.”

“Nice to meet you, Todd.”   
  


“Nice to meet you, Kayla. Guess I’ve got to get home and come up with something for tomorrow.”

“Okay. I’m not an easy catch, so make sure you get creative.”

Todd turned and headed back in the direction of his house. He blushed when he turned back around to get another look at Kayla and she was still looking at him. Kayla headed back to her own house. It was only another couple of minutes walk, but she spent the minutes cementing something in her head. Kayla didn’t believe in love at first sight, but there was one thing of which she was certain.

She would marry Todd Whitaker one day.


End file.
